


A Home for the Holidays

by sidsaid



Series: the community service diaries [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternative Universe – Modern Setting, Anger Management, Architect Ben, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy, NYC, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo-Freeform, Smut, charity work, electrical engineer Rey, it can’t be denied that there is smut here, mostly Ben-POV, the salvation army
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 13:30:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17023491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidsaid/pseuds/sidsaid
Summary: After being ordered community service by a benevolent judge due to an incident with the ever-frustrating Armitage Hux, Ben Solo finds himself reluctantly under the thumb of Salvation Army chief volunteer organiser Maz Kanata, who is nothing but elated at the chance of causing the reckoning of Leia Organa’s son. Though not even she can expect that reckoning to come in the guise of a young volunteer called Rey.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JenfysNest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenfysNest/gifts).



> This is a gift for Jen, who offered two prompts, and I struggled for hours to choose one and then got carried away. I have no idea how this turned into such a monster, so I apologise profusely and hope it lives up to some semblance of expectations. 
> 
> Oh well. Merry Christmas. ENJOY!

‘You fucking asshole, I'm going to bury you for this.’ Hux screamed after Ben, tears streaming as he clutched his bloody nose and what was most likely a fractured brow and cheekbone.

Ben's hand had cramped, the skin on his knuckles split and the bitter taste of dissatisfaction on his tongue. He'd wanted to hurt Hux more. He'd wanted to hear him beg him to stop. The red-headed man had been lucky that Ben had been pulled away, his arms held behind his back while he lay sprawled on his stomach on the concrete.

‘You need to calm down,’ the officer repeated.

Ben felt a knee press into his back and he resisted the urge to snarl–his natural reaction to being held down.

Hux’s incoherent shouts continued, even as he was dragged further away from the scene, and Ben found himself turning to a simmer, his anger dissipating. His head dropped to rest on the sidewalk as he tried to ignore the murmur of interested conversation from the passing crowds. He’d chosen the wrong place to have a fight with Hux and now was subject to the scrutiny of Christmas shoppers in the middle of lower Manhattan.

‘Are you going to continue to resist?’ another officer asked.

Ben’s head rolled across the ground to follow the voice, and he was met by the stern expression of a female police officer, who had her hands on her belt, looking down at him like he was a petulant child.

Though he was, Ben had to give her that.

‘I won’t,’ he murmured.

She nodded and gestured to the officer on Ben’s back, who slowly got up, loosening his grip on Ben’s arms so that he could cuff him and help him up from the ground.

‘You’re aware that we’re going to have to arrest and take you in, sir?’

Ben nodded, his jaw tightening as he stood still.

As the male officer began to read him his rights, Ben zoned out, looking up at the sky and trying to figure out why he hadn’t just walked away as soon as he’d seen Hux. Why he’d even bothered to entertain him. His knuckles ached, and his arms were already stiffening behind his back.

Why did he even bother?

**XxX**

The trial had been a marginally short affair.

Ben had been charged with misdemeanour assault and he’d pled guilty. The hearing took place a week later and the judge, being benevolent–perhaps due to an external pressure, or maybe even just because of the season–had decided that one hundred hours of community service was a satisfactory punishment for a first-time offence.

Hux had been livid, however, and had needed to be escorted from the courtroom, his face swollen and broken. Ben couldn’t even bring himself to smirk. The complacent rage he had briefly felt as he’d beaten the man hadn’t been worth it and his mother made sure to repeat that to him as she sat beside him on the bench, her mouth wound tightly into a frustrated pout.

Ben Solo. The constant disappointment. This time his anger could do nothing to alleviate his frustration, and so he sat in his suit, listening to the judge and nodding along to whatever he said.

The Salvation Army. _Nod._ Help those less fortunate. _Nod._ Learn to control your anger. _Nod._ Compulsory anger management therapy. _Nod._ Learn to do something above yourself _. Nod._

So, when Ben Solo entered the Salvation Army Headquarters on 14th Street he tried to be better, briefly smiling at the door greeter who held a bucket for donations. Although it lasted all about five seconds as he traipsed toward the reception, where a bored middle-aged man greeted him.

‘How can I help you?’

Ben swallowed. ‘I’m here to sign in for my community service.’ His voice was unusually low in volume and his hands curved on the edge of the desk as he leaned onto it. The man had the gall to smirk before gesturing to a clipboard on the desks surface.

‘Fourth floor, ask for Maz.’

Once Ben had managed to count to ten as his therapist had suggested, he wrote his name down, took a visitor’s badge from the receptionist and stomped off.

The building was massive and the fact that it took Ben more than a minute to find the elevators angered him even more, and he curled the badge in his fist, feeling the paper and plastic give way and snap in half. He took a few more breaths before rounding another corner, seeing the metallic doors and stopping in front of them. In the small enclosed space of the elevator bank, he could calm down much more easily and he looked at his deformed reflection in the steel, taking another breath.

He realised then that his scarf was practically strangling him, and his coat was buttoned up too high. The act itself of loosening the noosed wool and unbuttoning his coat helped to relax him and he took several deeper breaths before pressing the call button.

The elevator opened immediately–thankfully–and Ben took several more seconds to compose himself, tucking the destroyed badge into his coat pocket and entering the small compartment.

It was a short time before he reached the fourth floor and he was met by a heavily decorated corridor and the distant sound of carols from old, grainy speakers. There was another receptionists desk at the end of the elevator bank, and an old woman sat there, humming along to _Come All Ye Faithful._ He approached, and she smiled up at him.

‘Merry Christmas! Are you looking for Maz by any chance?’ she asked.

Ben nodded, deciding that he liked the efficient manner in which the woman spoke.

‘You’re Ben, right? Here for community service?’

‘That would be correct.’

She smiled, and her hands clasped together. ‘Welcome to the Salvation Army.’ She opened up a drawer beside her and pulled out a small presentation pack and handed it to Ben. He couldn’t help frowning at the top flyer which read; _So, You’ve Avoided Incarceration._

‘What-is-this?’ Ben couldn’t help the static way he asked, and the receptionist seemed to take his annoyance in her stride.

‘City hall makes them, I know, they are a bit on the nose.’

He sighed and nodded, understanding. All to avoid a repeat offence, he supposed. Ben couldn’t be so sure that would work. Especially if he saw Hux again.

‘If you go down the hall to the third door, Maz will be waiting for you.’

‘Thanks,’ he murmured, giving her another polite nod before starting down the hall, trying to relax the tension in his shoulders.

That was another thing his therapist had suggested. A weekly massage.

Fake holly and tinsel lined the hallway and the music was louder further down the corridor than at the receptionist’s desk. Ben rolled his eyes, not understanding the fixation with Christmas to this extent. The only thing he ever remembered liking about Christmas was that he didn’t have to go to school for a few weeks.

He knocked on the door and a small ‘come in’ greeted him.

The room was quite large, much like a classroom, with the teacher’s desk by the door and several rows of desks and chairs stretching across the rest of the rooms heavily-decorated expanse. At the desk sat an old woman with large glasses and a shrewd look on her face. Even as he stepped through the door, she seemed to scrutinize him intensely, looking him up and down and scratching her chin lightly.

‘Good,’ she said with finality.

‘I’m sorry, what?’ Ben asked, absolutely confused already.

She gestured to a chair that had been pulled up to the front of her desk. ‘It’s nice when old Ematt sends me the good-looking ones, he knows me so well.’

Ben wanted to be offended, but then a voice in his head told him that didn’t make any sense, and then he considered who she was talking about. ‘Ematt?’

‘The judge on your case, dear.’ She responded easily and then she crossed her legs and leant forward, though it made little difference as she was exceptionally small and barely reached over the desk anyway. ‘The good-looking ones work much better in this line of work, you’ll find.’

He snorted lightly and scratched his head. ‘I’m not sure if I’ve ever been described that way.’

Maz waved her hand with a scoff. ‘You Solos are all the same it seems.’

‘Am I supposed to know who you are?’ Ben asked, his frown reappearing as he looked at the small woman with suspicion.

She grinned, and her hands joined together on the desk. ‘You’re not the first Solo to come through here, though I would hope you are the last to come here because of the courts. Is it a Solo tradition to get yourselves into trouble? Leia must have pulled a lot of strings to get you this deal rather than jail time.’

Ben’s suspicion immediately dropped to surprise, and he lost any idea of what to say. His father had done community service here? When? Before the war? After? When he had still been in the Air Force? He decided not to ask and instead further preoccupied himself with the fact that Maz had mentioned his mother.

It was his mother and not Snoke who had influenced his punishment?

He frowned then, his fist tightening at his side, annoyed that his mother had said nothing. ‘Well that’s where my father and I’s commonalities end.’

Maz seemed to watch him for a moment before clucking her tongue. ‘We’ll see, won’t we Benjamin. The Lord has a way of showing us things we least expect.’

Ben decided to sigh instead of saying any more, hating how as usual, talk of his parents had caused him to bristle and for the strain in his shoulders to tighten.

‘Great, so let’s start.’ Her hands quickly manoeuvred across the desk, sorting through her papers before she looked back at Ben, smiling lightly. ‘In that pack you picked up you’ll find your official badge. I am supposed to say you should read the paperwork, but let’s be honest, that’s not what is going to save your soul.’

‘My soul?’ Ben echoed when Maz had stopped speaking and then he scoffed.

Maz nodded and her smile remained unchanged. To Ben, it was as if she knew something he didn’t, and he frowned again as he watched her remove paperwork from a stack.

‘You’ll be doing a mix of different things over the next month, mostly fundraising, working with children, and helping with our daily food-drives and meal centres for the less fortunate. So, you're going to need to learn how to smile.’

‘I know how to smile,’ he snapped automatically and Maz cackled in return.

‘How are your team-working skills?’

Ben frowned, knowing that it wasn’t really a question and more a means of mocking him.

‘It's a good thing that I handpicked your team,’ she murmured with a head shake.

He wanted to ask more but Maz stood quickly and passed him his schedule; five hours, four days a week, including Christmas and New Year’s. He wanted to groan, but he didn’t have the excuse of plans anyway.

‘We always start here and once your five hours is up, you can go on your merry way.’ Maz continued. ‘I expect there won't be any problems?’

Ben shook his head and muttered a no, before he stood, and his eyes met with Maz's unreasonably small, outstretched hand. He took it all the same and Maz smiled lightly.

‘I think this will be good for you, Ben.’

He restrained his scoff and nodded rigidly.

**XxX**

When Ben arrived at the Salvation Army at 4pm on Wednesday, wrapped in his coat, scarf and gloves and fighting off New York's current attempt at a windstorm, he was met by Maz's knowing smile as she stood outside the reception, already a donation bucket in her hands.

‘It's good to know that you are a timely man, I suppose that's how you differ from your father.’

Ben huffed, greatly disliking this woman's penchant for bringing up his ridiculous father.

She pushed on the door and Ben was thankful for the blast of warm air as she ushered him in.

‘David and Jacob are grabbing some of the donated clothing to give out at the meal centre. We expect that this winter they'll really need an extra something.’

Ben nodded and waited as two older men approached. They stopped in front of them, putting down the crate they were carrying between them and Maz stepped between all three of them with a smile.

‘David and Jacob, this is Ben, he'll be helping out for the next month or so.’

He was marginally surprised she hadn't introduced him as a community service worker and when he nodded to the two men, they nodded in return. The two men were almost identical, bar their differing heights and stage in life, but enough for Ben to think that they were twins.

‘This is all we've got today, so once Kay gets here, we can leave.’ Jacob, the shorter and much greyer man said with a thick New Jersey accent.

A young woman with dark blonde hair and large pink earmuffs scuttled down across the reception, running towards them in heeled boots until she stopped with a slide.

‘Sorry, I got caught up with Betty.’ she said with a smile, before turning to the newcomer. ‘I'm Kay,’ she held out her hand, ‘I'm guessing that from the schedule, you're Ben.’

He nodded and took her hand, surprised by the strength of her grip. ‘Good to meet you.’

Kay seemed to appraise him, and she nodded with a smile. ‘You found a good-looking one Maz.’

The old woman chuckled and nodded. Ben just about managed to reign in his incredulous expression, unable to understand these people at all, and deciding it was better that he didn’t speak at all.

Ben was eventually pushed into a van to make the exceptionally short trip to 13th street. They parked up in the back of The Church of the Village and Ben helped to carry out the crate of clothing, while Kay flitted around carrying smaller items, holding open doors and greeting the few people who had begun to appear.

‘Dom!’ she shouted with a wave while Ben had been closing the back of the van.

A dark-haired man with a grey knitted hat and leather gloved hands sat in his pockets walked over, a wry smile on his lips. Kay kissed both of his cheeks and she beamed up at him.

‘Sorry I had to meet you guys here, I hadn't finished setting up for the evening prayer meeting yet.’ His eyes found Ben's and he nodded politely. ‘I'm Dom, I'm the chef.’

Ben straightened up, loosening the buttons on his coat. ‘Ben.’

‘Ben is our newest recruit. You'll be helping for a while yet, won't you?’ Kay perked up, looking away from Dom to meet Ben’s eyes.

He nodded, and Dom seemed to be reading him. Ben, growing tired of the continued inspection, moved past the pair of them and trudged into the building, his shoulders hunched.

‘I'm sure he'll grow on us,’ Kay murmured, though Dom frowned.

The community centre in the back of the church was bare bones. It was far too cold to remove coats outside, but it wasn’t much more manageable inside. There were tables and chairs scattered haphazardly around and Ben could smell chicken soup and noted the condensation that slid down the metal containers sitting against a wall.

David and Jacob had started to move the tables and Ben decided, after seeing a broom, that he could neaten the place up a bit. Cleaning was at least something he did well.

He heard the click of Kay's booted heel enter and she started to unpack a large paper table cloth that she placed on the long serving table David and Jacob had just set up. Then she began taking out cutlery and bowls, arranging them neatly across the surface.

Dom moved towards the metal containers and checked on the food before he removed his hat and gloves, pausing only to check on his kippah, before he continued sifting through the food containers.

‘You're Jewish,’ Ben stated, and Dom turned with a raised eyebrow.

‘Is that a problem?’

‘But you volunteer for a Christian organisation?’

‘And the United Jewish Council and the Islamic Cultural Centre.’

Kay decided she wanted in on the conversation and she perched herself at the edge of the serving table. ‘He's a serial volunteer.’

Dom seemed to like the phrase and he smiled. ‘I mostly just cook the food in between things.’

‘Sounds like you don't have anything better to do.’ Ben scoffed.

Kay let out a breath, almost a gasp and Ben thought that perhaps that was a little below the belt, but then he hadn’t felt inclined to take it back, either.

Dom frowned but shrugged. ‘I won't rise to that.’

‘You're rude, do you know that?’ Kay said quite simply.

Ben nodded in steady agreement and it seemed to aggravate Kay more, though Dom reached out to stop her launching a full-scale verbal attack on the larger man.

‘You don't intimidate me,’ Dom supplied. ‘Anyway, the rule is, drinks are unlimited and one full and closed cup of soup with a bread roll.’

‘Right.’ Ben found himself biting the inside of his mouth, not having expected the temperate reaction, regardless of whether he had been looking for a fight or not. He realised it made him just as angry and he began to count, though his expression continued to sour.

Kay frowned heavily and moved away from him, deciding to take her place furthest away from Ben.

Dom stepped out from behind the table and opened the doors, greeting the people who began to file in and move into lines in front of the serving table. Many of the men and women knew him and he received several hugs and kisses as the crowds trailed in.

Ben’s glower only deepened, his feelings of inadequacy reared their ugly jealous head, and as visitors approached him, he gave out their food and drinks without a word, even as he heard Jacob and David have spirited conversations and Kay chirp away happily.

Dom eventually came over to help serve and the line begun to go faster, the hall filling with noise as the men and women sat around to eat and talk.

When there was a lull, Ben stood back to let the others serve while he picked up trash from around the room. His eyes were constantly on his watch, noting that there was only another hour left before his torment would end until the next day.

He only turned when he heard Kay’s high-pitched squeal and he wheeled around to see her running towards the door, pulling someone into her arms.

‘What are you doing here?’ she shrieked.

‘I had some time, so I came to help you guys clear up.’ Ben tried his best to see past Kay and to the woman she was speaking with, whose British accent seemed to be incredibly out of place in a Manhattan soup-kitchen.

He turned away as they passed him, hearing Kay’s heels as she went, and they stopped at the serving table, the rest of the group seeming to greet the woman.

They softly murmured between themselves before Ben could hear footsteps behind him and he turned at a tap on his shoulder. He stopped with an empty cup in his hand, turned and immediately contemplated the hazel eyes that met his. And that was all that met him because the woman was wrapped in layers and layers of clothing, a beanie hat on her head, covering all of her hair bar the tips that poked out of the scarf that had been covering her mouth.

‘Hi, I’m Rey,’ she murmured, pulling down her scarf to reveal cheeks so red they almost looked burnt and she held her hand out.

Her smile was wide, despite her lips being almost blue.

Ben looked at her hand, taking several moments to sift the name through his head, before he realised that she was the Friday to Saturday volunteer. He took her hand and it was freezing cold, despite the thick pair of gloves that poked out of her coat pocket.

‘Lovely to meet you. I hope your first day has been magical.’ She said it with such vigour that Ben was confused, and he waited to see the image break, but it didn’t.

He nodded automatically and returned a miniscule smile, as if compelled to do it by her cheerfulness alone. There was something strangely relaxing about her voice, and though it contained just as much enthusiasm as Kay’s, it seemed sombre and more authentic.

She left him with another smile, before she tucked herself into her scarf again and wandered off to speak with several men at a nearby table, seeming to sink into them comfortably like she had been with them all along.

He looked back at the others, seeing Kay speak animatedly to Dom, who nodded with quirked lips and Ben glanced down at his watch again.

‘You can stop looking at your watch, just go,’ David said. He passed him by with an empty crate, once filled with several coats and jackets, all now having found a home on a thankful back.

Ben wanted to be offended outright, but he also wanted to go, so he did. He checked that he had everything and left, thankful to be out in the bitter cold and a little bit closer to home.

 _This will be a long month_ , he thought. He sighed as he dug his hands further into his pockets, and started his trudging walk home.


	2. Part 2

Thursday followed the same miserable pattern for Ben. However, this time it was prefaced by an appointment with his behavioural therapist after a half day at work, and then he had to drag himself to 14th street, with the guilt that his therapist had yanked out of him with as much vitriol as a therapist was allowed to have.

He’d been unfair by being so rude, she’d said. He should apologise, she’d said, and Ben was sure that he wasn’t going to do that.

The weather had seemed to grow worse as the week continued, and he found himself even more irritated when he turned up at the Salvation Army, Maz not there to remind him that he was better off not being a casual asshole twenty-four-seven. His face was tight from the cold, his hair damp due to the flurries of snow, and what was worse was that he had forgotten his favourite scarf in his office.

While the Church of the Village had been within walking distance of his house, this time the meal drive was a monotonous 15-minute drive, exacerbated by traffic, and considering neither Kay nor Dom were speaking to him, they hadn’t informed him that rather than working from a community centre, they were outside manning a food truck called The Relief Bus.

If Ben didn’t have any self-respect or pride, he would have walked away immediately. Yet, he knew that prison probably wouldn’t suit him, so he stayed, as moody as ever, spooning stew into shaking polystyrene cups.

After thirty minutes, his coat did nothing to hold off the cold and he began to feel his toes go numb, aggravating his expression to the point that several people avoided getting their cups filled by him, and instead moved to Kay and Dom, who were both overwhelmed.

Ben didn’t rectify his expression, only in retrospect noting that it was causing a heavier workload on the pair, and he just wanted to get everything done in silence. He just wanted it to be over.

Why hadn’t he broken Hux’s face in the summer? Was his remaining thought by the third hour.

Somehow Kay was jovial, talking enthusiastically with the visitors while Dom seemed to be in private conversation with several young men at the corner of the truck, offering them cups of tea and kind words.

It irritated Ben. Not that these people were so good with others, but it was his own incompetence and frustration that reared its ugly head. He was an infuriating man, he knew it. Even when he was silent and passive, he angered others, which only led him down the rabbit hole of rage. It had taken exactly one day for him to cause resentment in others and he sighed, the tension only building in his shoulders again when he realised he hadn’t wanted that. Not really.

It was the fifth hour when he decided perhaps it would be best to apologise to both Kay and Dom, even if he cringed at the thought. Though by the time he had considered what words he would use, to at least try to be less offensive, they had packed up and had left him at Chelsea Park, pigeons surrounding him to seek out any dropped food.

He wasn’t good at this, and he didn’t believe he could get better.

**XxX**

Rey frowned lightly as Kay continued to talk, her tone icy and unlike her. Rey was so used to her friend being jolly and speaking highly of everyone and anyone, that her distinct dislike of the newest volunteer was unsettling at best.

‘You didn’t hear what he said to Dom, it was utterly deplorable.’ Kay groaned. ‘How can we possibly work with him for a month? Or maybe more!’

The brunette woman smiled softly and shook her head, tapping Kay’s hand. ‘I’m sure it’s just new day jitters. I doubt he wanted to be here in the first place, and we can’t expect everyone to get acclimated in a day.’

Kay frowned. ‘Yesterday he frightened off half of the line. He didn’t even have to say a thing. Are you telling me that he’s accidentally intimidating?’

Rey chewed on her bottom lip gently, looking at the ground briefly before back at Kay. ‘I want to believe that. Have some hope, Kay?’

She rolled her eyes in return. ‘It doesn’t matter how pretty you thought he was, Rey. Not everyone can be good.’

‘Incredible,’ Rey responded with a loud snort. ‘Because I distinctly remember those words coming from your mouth.’

Kay seemed to ignore that, and she crossed her arms.

‘I’ll see what he is like and if there is a problem, I’m sure it can be easily resolved. Don’t raise your blood pressure so much.’ Rey added.

‘Oh Rey, you just don’t understand.’

She chuckled and shook her head, sitting more comfortably on the edge of the desk. ‘You worry too much. Just go home, you know you’re not supposed to be here.’

Kay groaned again and nodded, leaving two kisses on Rey’s cheeks before she flitted off, running to get home before sunset.

Rey moved around the desk, taking a seat in the chair that sat beneath it and she began to sort through the worksheets, humming along to _Away in a Manger_ as it float downed the hall.

On the door opening, Rey looked up to offer Maz a wide smile, receiving a small nod in return before the older woman took a seat across the desk in the opposite facing chair.

‘I’m sure Kay has told you about Ben.’ Maz said simply, crossing her legs at her ankles.

Rey smiled wryly and nodded, moving the papers into a neat pile. ‘I hear he’s hard work, Maz. What are we going to do if this one runs off too?’ Though it was a reasonable worry, Rey clearly meant it as a joke.

Maz shook her head and wagged a finger. ‘He can’t. Court ordered, and I know his mother.’

That seemed to entertain Rey and she smiled lightly. ‘I’m surprised.’

The older woman narrowed her eyes, as if knowing exactly what Rey was thinking and chiding her for it. ‘No prejudice now, Rey. You know the rules.’

Rey chuckled and straightened up. ‘You know I was thinking nothing like that at all. I met him briefly on Wednesday and he didn’t say much, but he seemed like a serious kind of man. Isn’t that much easier to manage?’ she asked.

Maz clucked her tongue and shook her head. ‘The more serious they are, the more dangerous they are. It’s the stoic ones you have to look out for, because you can convince yourself that they are harmless.’

‘That’s rather farfetched, isn’t it Maz?’ Rey responded with a laugh and she looked back down to her papers.

From what Rey could remember, Ben was simply a silent and handsome man. Though not the tallest or the biggest man she’d ever seen, it was something else to meet someone with a generally overbearing presence who seemed to try to make himself seem smaller while simultaneously being so large.

‘Regardless, it will just be you two in class today.’

‘Is that on purpose?

Maz scoffed. ‘I thought that of all people, you’d be able to reel him in.’

‘Ah, with my bruising charm and my quick wit?’

Maz laughed hard at that and she slid out of the chair, making a scraping noise as she got up. ‘God gave you many things, Rey, but he did not give you a bruising charm and quick wit.’

Rey frowned, pouting lightly in faux-offence. Maz, however, stood beside her and laid a hand against her shoulder. ‘God gave you a warm heart, full of love and altruism that is inescapable and all-consuming. You are love personified, my dear.’

A smile broke across her features, and Rey allowed Maz to pull her into a hug.

‘Have a good weekend Maz,’ Rey murmured into her hair and Maz nodded, patting her gently on the back.

‘You too, dear, don’t work too hard, this will be a long Christmas season.’ Rey nodded as Maz pulled her coat tighter around her and bounded out of the room, leaving Rey to simmer in her thoughts.

They stopped automatically on Ben. His face was blurry in her memory, but his strong shoulders, dark hair and forest-like eyes remaining seared there. As if they were part of an earlier thought, as if she’d seen those features somewhere before.

**XxX**

Ben grunted as he grabbed the visitors pass from the receptionist who had seemed to keep the same frustrating smirk on his face for days now, and he stomped over to the elevators, his hands deep in his pockets.

He was early. He hadn’t wanted to be, but for once the traffic was reasonable and Ben’s trip from work to the Salvation Army had taken a record twenty minutes. He’d almost stopped for a coffee but knew that walking in with only one would have made him look bad. Ben had it in his head that if there was one thing Christians were, it was over judgemental, and he didn’t need a further annoyance in an already frustrating day.

Hux had turned up at work again, and even though his face was still a mess, Ben couldn’t forget what the man had said to him and his hands had curled into bloodthirsty fists at the sight of him, just wanting to continue where he had started off.

Then there was the guilt. It had been a new thing, only beginning to appear in dribs and drabs over the last week, as if Ben had done something heinously wrong. Yet guilty he was. Guilty that he had pushed people away. That he’d already soiled the relationships he could have developed with the other volunteers and guilt that he couldn’t be better. That being better was so far out of his remit, good tidings just repelled away from him.

He passed by Betty with a nod and continued down the hall to classroom two, pulling open the door sharply and almost stumbling through it when his eyes met with hazel...with caramel...with coffee ice cream...pumpkin pie-like eyes.

His gaze passed over the woman’s face. The delicate tan of her skin, the small dimples set in her cheeks, and the raised eyebrows over those same deep butterscotch eyes. She hadn’t looked like this yesterday. No, she had, but she hadn’t. Her lips had been purple, not this soft dusky pink that Ben didn’t think could be attributed to make-up. The deep painful rouge of her cheeks had settled and the scarf that had swaddled her neck was gone and so was the beanie, all discarded on a nearby chair. Her dark brown hair glanced across her shoulders in light waves and was pushed delicately over both of her ears.

And Ben was like a man lost as he looked at her. His stare moved across her to take her all in. From the oversized green turtle-neck jumper, to her jeans and down to her brown boots, and he was so confused. Her head tilted to the side as he stared and eventually she frowned, tucking in on herself and turning to lean further into the desk. He just wanted to tell her to stop, to hold his gaze. He wanted to stay in this steady silence and bathe in it. She was beautiful.

‘Hello,’ she murmured softly.

Ben didn’t respond, and his eyes skittered across her features as she spoke and seemed to sift through her own thoughts.

‘Is there something wrong?’ she asked, feeling the back of her neck heat as she blushed under his intense gaze. She was at a loss for what to do, and further curled in on herself, suddenly feeling nervous.

He blinked again, and he glanced to a window before looking back at her, noticing her cheeks were tinged pink.

‘Sorry, hi,’ he said finally. Ben didn’t miss how strange his voice had sounded, at least to him. It lacked the force he usually put behind his words.

Rey found herself smiling warily as Ben sat across from her, his eyes remaining on her. ‘It seems it’s just the two of us today. Maz left the worksheets for us.’ She pushed them across to him and he barely glanced at them, before his eyes were back on hers.

‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked.

She met his eyes carefully, surprised it didn’t immediately plunge her in the ice water of discomfort she expected, and she gestured to the tables behind him. ‘We’ll move the tables so it’s a more comfortable atmosphere, since we have the young ones first.’

Before Rey could stand, Ben was up, moving the tables into a square, pulling all of the chairs to sit around the outside so that every pupil would be able to see all the others.

Rey tried to help, but he went through speedily and whenever she grabbed for a chair, he slipped it from her grip. She felt herself ready to laugh as she watched him go and when it was all finished, she stood beside him, her arms crossed. ‘I do have arms too, did you know?’

He shrugged. ‘I can move tables, I don’t think I’d be a very good teacher.’

‘Why do you think that?’ she inquired.

‘I like doing things my own way.’

Rey smiled wide then and she looked back at the worksheets on the desks, considering things for a moment. ‘So, do you think that if I gave you a subject, that’d be enough for you to think of your own way of doing it?’

He nodded as he leaned against one of the tables, happily watching her think.

‘It’s religious holidays today. The information is here, but I don’t see why you can’t do with it what you want. As long as they learn something.’

Ben took up the notes, reading over them quickly before he put them down. When he looked back at Rey, she was cleaning the whiteboard and he chuckled, noticing that she was struggling to reach the top. On having heard his mirth, Rey turned, narrowing her eyes at him. ‘Well you do this too then,’ she said with a frown.

He did as he was told and moved around the desk, taking the eraser from her hands, making sure that his fingers glanced against her own, and he cleaned it quickly, before handing it back to her.

Rey’s fingers closed over it, stepping back from him with a clearing of her throat. ‘You’re quite intense,’ she said offhandedly, and she looked surprised that she had said it out loud and immediately cleared her throat, stepping from around the desk, creating distance between them.

‘My mother calls it charisma.’

Laughter bubbled out from her outside of her control, surprising Ben immensely. When she looked back at him, his expression was alight, and Ben couldn’t help thinking that she looked satisfied.

‘You’re ridiculous,’ she murmured.

The door opened then and a noisy group of about twenty kindergartners filed in, their bags and even clothes a bit too big for them. When they saw Rey, the majority of them rushed to her, while Ben noted that the shyer ones hung back, but noticed him first.

He moved around to them and held out a hand for them to shake. A young girl with a bandana around her neck looked at her own hand first, impressed by the size of his and she placed it in his and giggled when he shook it enthusiastically.

‘Hi everyone, yes it’s very exciting I know, but pay attention because we have a new teacher today and his name is Ben.’ Rey shouted over the noise.

Several more of the children moved to Ben, amazed at his sheer size, and one even tried to climb him, and Ben jovially knocked them away, hearing Rey’s cackles from behind him. He had barely frowned, and he came to the realisation that he hadn’t been around a group of children before, and so his own reaction had surprised him.

Eventually the children tired of trying to climb him or get a handshake, and Rey managed to coerce them into sitting down, slipping through to the middle of the formation of tables, with all eyes on her.

‘Now what do we say?’ she asked.

‘Good Afternoon Rey!’ They all shouted back.

She pointed to Ben and there were grins.

‘Good Afternoon Ben!’

Ben put a hand to his mouth, having felt his lips begin to tilt into a smile.

Rey started to go over the afternoon schedule, mostly indicating when they could have a snack and have playtime. That seemed to be the thing most of the children gravitated to and they smiled widely. Ben noticed that many eyes glanced to the corner, where a large box lied.

He watched Rey speak animatedly to them all and she asked each of them how they felt and how school had been. Ben came to the quick realisation that they were all disadvantaged children, and perhaps all of them were in some form of foster care or from an orphanage. They all looked at Rey with such earnest affection that Ben wished he was six years old again and could just happily watch Rey speak and care and feel that wholeheartedly.

‘Ben!’

Giggles reverberated around the room and Ben had snapped back to attention, realising that he had missed Rey repeating his name and ushering him over. He slid through a gap between two tables and Rey slipped out, taking a seat at the edge of the teacher’s desk and she only needed to smile for Ben to know that he could go ahead and start.

And it went well. Better than even Ben had expected, and he had high estimations of his own skills. He had decided to keep it simple, sticking to the religious holidays observed in December, beginning with Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Christmas and had offered fun facts and stories about other celebrated holidays that also take place. Ben answered questions as they came and made sure to describe everything like a story, rather than like a simple encyclopaedia entry.

Once he finished going through the holidays, he tested them with the facts, offering something special as a prize for each right answer. He let everyone answer a question correctly and offered each of them a sheet of coloured paper as a prize. They seemed lost, but he told them that their prize was to draw the one thing they wanted to give to their favourite person in the world.

After all the drawings were done, Rey collected them all, making sure the names were on each sheet and the children were left to grab snacks, a drink and a toy to play with.

‘Now how will you provide all these gifts to these favourite people?

Ben raised his eyebrows and then looked down at the papers in Rey’s hand. ‘All of them would have drawn something they wanted. I thought that would be nice, and if they want to give it as a gift, then they can do so.’

‘You’re going to get them all gifts?’

He shrugged. ‘They are good kids, they deserve it. And I don’t exactly have an extensive list of gifts to give.’

Rey smiled wide and pointed to an image of a giant tiger on one of the sheets of paper. ‘I wish you luck with this one.’

The little girl with the bandana approached Ben then and she held out a barbie to him, with another in her other hand. ‘Let’s play,’ she said happily, and Ben willingly went.

It was only when the energy levels begun to drop when a woman called Mrs McArdle knocked on the door and told them all to grab their coats and bags and prepare to go home.

Once the room was empty, Rey sat on top of one of the tables, her legs crossed underneath her, and she surveyed Ben for several minutes. He allowed it, not saying anything, not even moving.

‘For your first time, that went well.’

‘They look at you like you’re a god.’

Rey chuckled at that. ‘I wouldn’t go that far, but I think they like me.’

‘They definitely like you.’

‘I think they like you too.’

Ben went silent for a moment, before he looked back at Rey. ‘Thanks for letting me do what I wanted.’

She shrugged, pushing her hair behind her ears again. ‘You shouldn’t think that you can’t be who you want to be...even here.’

His eyes watched her carefully, and he felt like she was right, so he nodded.

‘You’re a good storyteller. Is that your line of work?’ Rey asked, genuinely curious.

He shook his head. ‘I’m an architect.’

Rey frowned, and she clucked her tongue. ‘Now you’re lying to me. Every building has a good story and you can’t deny that when you design something, every facet of it doesn’t have a story behind it.’

Ben held her gaze for a moment and he nodded. ‘I suppose you’re right.’

‘I’m absolutely right,’ she smiled, her legs kicking from underneath her.

‘So, it’s the children, right?’ Ben asked.

She tilted her head lightly, wondering what he meant and then she found the answer in how he looked around the empty classroom again, and she smiled wistfully. ‘When I was seven years old my father died, and my mother decided she couldn’t look after me any longer.’

Ben begun to frown, and Rey narrowed her eyes at the expression, trying to glare it out of existence.

‘Don’t make that face, it’s not a new story, it’s a sad happening, I suppose.’ She sighed and leant back. ‘My mother left me outside of the Salvation Army in my school uniform at 7AM on a Wednesday morning. I was in care until I was sixteen. I never managed to find a family to take me in, so I stayed in a home, but…’ she huffed a laugh then as she looked at Ben. ‘An old man named Ben, who worked in the Salvation Army, he always had time for me. I’d get sent to TSA for after-school care, for extra classes...for counselling, you name it. And old Ben, he became like my grandfather and I think I would have ended up on the street if it hadn’t been for him.’

Rey sniffed, though smiled regardless. ‘I came here when he died. He always spoke about his old friend Maz and I thought she’d show me where I’m meant to be, what my purpose is, I suppose. And it’s the same, I think. I can’t help seeing myself in them and I know how badly I wanted to be saved and I... I don’t want them to be lost.’

‘You’re a good person,’ Ben found himself saying.

She looked at him, snuffled again and rolled her eyes. ‘Everyone says that.’

He smiled, and it’s one that had surprised him, with its breadth and the honest feelings behind it. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you and I don’t think I ever will again.’

Rey hadn’t known what to say. She wasn’t even one hundred percent sure on how to understand his words and she stayed silent for a moment. Ben hadn’t expected a response and he just stood with his hands in his pockets as he heard voices from down the hall, bringing more students with it.


	3. Part 3

Ben sat in the lobby of the Salvation Army at 11AM on Saturday morning, his legs stretched out in front of him and his fingers twisting the tips of his scarf in his hands.

All his schedule had said was _11AM at the reception_ ; _Ben and Rey_. He didn’t have a clue and despite the dread that slunk in the back of his head, he was mostly looking forward to seeing Rey.

He didn’t have enough fingers on his hands to number the reasons why, but he could deduce it down to one thing: she was utterly bewildering. The way she spoke, the way she moved, the way she smiled, even the way she taught. Ben was fully sold on the idea that he could watch her do very little for hours and be absolutely satisfied.

Going home the previous day, he’d lost footing on numerous occasions and had even bumped into a lamppost because his thoughts had been on her. On her delicate smile, on the dimples in her cheeks, on the warm colour of her eyes.

It wasn’t until Rey was almost skipping into the building–her hands in her pockets as she hurried–that he realised his fixation with his scarf was sheer nervousness and he automatically stood as she approached, frowning only briefly that their height difference left him further away from her.

‘Morning Benjamin,’ she chirped, smiling widely. ‘Did you get your orders yet?’

‘Hey,’ Ben said as he slipped his distracted hands into his coat pockets. ‘No, was I supposed to?’

Rey looked up the lobby and she seemed to pause, listening out for something. ‘Ah, I think they are coming now. It’s a Red Kettle event today, so it will be a mix of things, mostly fundraising,’ she said offhandedly.

‘The bell ringing thing?’ he questioned.

She nodded and then several people began to stream from the elevator bank, carrying boxes, many of them dressed in red, white and green. Several had reindeer antlers, Santa hats and elf hats on their heads too.

‘They are going to set up a carolling and donation platform outside, and there’ll be a Santa visit inside.’ Rey continued, looking back at Ben.

Ben nodded lightly, watching several of the volunteers beginning to roll out a red carpet from the door. He turned back to Rey and her eyes were already on him, and she had been nibbling on her bottom lip.

‘We should probably help?’

Ben was confused as to why it was a question, but he nodded regardless.

The two of them were ordered to go upstairs and help carry the rest of the materials down for Santa’s grotto. It was to take up a secluded corner of the reception, where a large chair was set up on a podium, surrounded by a Christmas scene and small Christmas trees. Eventually two sacks of gifts were dragged over and laid out on either side of Santa’s huge, ornamented chair.

‘Hey Rey!’

The voice belonged to a middle-aged woman, who waved Rey over and then when she caught Ben’s eye, she waved him over too.

Ben followed slowly after Rey, a feeling of distrust suddenly overcoming him.

‘Hey Viola.’ Rey gave her a tight hug. ‘Where do you want us today?’

‘Manning the grotto, I think. Riley has the flu, so we’re low on grotto staff.’

Rey narrowed her eyes, and Ben frowned at the expression, his gaze moving to Viola, who looked at him much the way Maz had when she had first met him.

‘I’m not sure I’d be a great replacement for Riley,’ Rey said, and then she followed Viola’s trail of attention and had to put a hand over her mouth to stop her from bursting out laughing. ‘I don’t think Ben will like that either.’

‘Like what?’

She grinned. ‘How do you feel about being Santa?’

Ben paused, taking a moment to consider the words that had just been said to him and he looked to Viola, who was waiting for an answer. ‘Do I have a choice?’ he questioned.

‘Always.’ Rey answered.

‘If you’re my helper,’ he said finally.

Rey clucked her tongue, highly amused. ‘And I thought you were supposed to be incredibly unhelpful, Benjamin Solo.’ She scratched her chin and shook her head. ‘I’ll be your helper since you’ve asked so nicely.’

It wasn’t even a minute later when Ben found himself pulling on Santa’s itchy costume, that had thankfully been dry-cleaned since its last use. He’d been wearing black boots already, so he hadn’t had to subject himself to wearing another person’s shoes, but then he looked overly ridiculous regardless.

Laughter beckoned him further out of the bathroom, when Rey–who was now dressed as an elf in green–glimpsed his exit.

He was too tall for the trousers, and he needed far more padding.

‘Come come, we’ll finish you up,’ Rey said, taking his hand in hers.

Ben looked down at their joined hands, hers tiny in comparison to his. Her nails were painted mint green and cut short, while his fingers still bore the scuff marks of graphite and ink. No matter how many times he washed them, the stains never seemed to go.

They were in the hallway when Rey began taking more stuffing from a bag and tucked it into the Santa jacket. She almost did the same to his trousers but stopped herself when she had begun to pull at the waistband. Ben couldn’t help but smirk when she apologised quickly, and she held out the material, waiting for Ben to tuck it into his trousers to pad out his thighs.

Rey took a step back and cocked her head to the side, nodding somewhat. ‘That’s much better.’ She looked around her for a second and then looked back at him. ‘Go back to the grotto, I’ll be there in a second.’

Ben did as he was told, happy that at least the Santa Claus costume had pockets for his overly large hands to slink into.

He eventually sat in the unnecessarily large chair as the volunteers finished cleaning up the lobby of stray tinsel and began to warm up their throats for an afternoon of carol singing. His concentration was on them and he didn’t notice when Rey had padded over beside him, frowning somewhat at his raised height.

‘I’ve found the perfect thing to finish this off.’

Before he could ask what she meant, she was climbing onto the edge of the tall chair, forcing him to shove to one side of it so that her feet could fit while she sat on the arm.

This was probably the closest they’d been, with her shins and knees pressed into his arm while she slouched to become level with his height.

‘You are absolutely the wrong age for this,’ he murmured, his rational thoughts already racing away from him at top speed.

Rey pretended to laugh as she opened the small pallet she had brought in her hand. ‘Which is why I’m not sitting in your lap.’ She sifted through a pocket and removed a feathered brush from it and began to softly dab it into the pallet.

Ben watched her for a moment, deciding that if he replied, it would absolutely result in him receiving a deserved slap.

‘What’s that?’ he asked, and he sounded worried even to his own ears.

‘Some blusher, for that wind-chilled Santa look,’ she answered, looking back up at him once she had loaded her brush.

He nodded, and Rey shifted slightly, her knee poking his padded chest as she pressed the brush against his cheek, carrying the powder across it, onto the tip of his nose and then to his other cheek.

She was smiling to herself as she did so, and Ben was happy to just watch her smile, to see the concentration in her face and to feel her soft exhales against his skin as she breathed.

‘You’re being very well behaved,’ she murmured as she blended. ‘I heard you’re not well behaved.’

Ben frowned, and she slid back somewhat, though he didn’t like that she had moved away.

‘So, you know you were? That’s very naughty, Ben,’ she commented, though there was a clear layer of mirth in her tone, and Ben could see it in her eyes as she leaned back in.

_Naughty_. The word sounded undeniably dangerous coming from her.

He swallowed. ‘I know.’ His reply was small, and it was wasted, he knew it. He already knew where his apology was owed, and it didn’t do him any good to forget that.

Rey sighed, continuing her painting of his face. Her eyes glanced away from his cheeks to meet his for a moment and she stared, Ben not closing his eyes to even blink as she did. Eventually she blinked, and she laughed, shaking her head. ‘You’re very interesting.’

Ben was ready to ask what she meant when Rey sifted in her pockets again, removing the two pieces of fake hair that he had avoided completely, and putting the pallet and brush away.

‘You forgot these Santa,’ she said happily, removing the sticky backs. Despite Ben’s resistance, she practically put him in a choke hold to attach them to his eyebrows.

‘Who do I sue if they remove my actual eyebrows?’ he said, squirming under her as she pressed her thumbs roughly into his brows.

Rey tutted. ‘Such dramatics. They’ll come off just fine.’

Ben settled, frowning heavily despite Rey’s smiles. She seemed to enjoy the fact that he wasn’t too pleased, and he noticed her nose was twitching, as if she were holding back her laughter.

‘Do I look good enough yet?’ he questioned.

She leant back lightly again, seeming to want to appraise him from a distance and she nodded, before leaning forward again, even closer than she had been before.

Pulling at the beard string that Ben had left under his chin for the time being, she pulled it back over his mouth and began to adjust it. Her fingers ran through it, absently grazing against his chin, his jaw, and his lips on two occasions.

Ben saw her throat shift as she swallowed, leaning in as her thumbs shifted the moustache of the faux facial hair.

‘Should I have shaved?’ he asked.

She shook her head in a concentrated pout. ‘I don’t think that would have been necessary. Plus…’ she backed up, appraising her handiwork with a nod ‘...your facial hair suits you.’

‘You think I should aim for this look then?’ he asked, finding himself smiling behind the hair.

Rey grinned, her fingers drifting to the beard again as she caught his eye. ‘I don’t know, it could work. Especially in white. You wouldn’t be too bad to look at,’ she leaned in again, meeting his eyes directly, her chin resting against her hand, propped up by an elbow on her bent knee. ‘I’m sure when you’re 80 in a few years, all the other grandmas will be jonesing for you.’

‘Are you calling me an old man?’

‘Well if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck.’

Ben watched amused as her eye lines crinkled and her smile grew wider. His gaze couldn’t help dipping to her lips and he swallowed when she unconsciously licked her bottom lip, her tongue peeking out for the briefest of moments.

He wanted to reach out and taste her. He wanted to press his tongue against the crease of her lips and feel her melt beneath his touch.

‘Rey?’

She turned from him, their closeness turning from reality to memory as she slipped from the arm of the chair to approach what looked like a teenager in an identical elf costume. Whatever they were speaking about, Ben couldn’t hear, and when they broke conversation, Rey was laughing.

The foolish corner of Ben’s brain was already floundering in jealousy and the part that actually listened to what his therapist told him, calmly looked at the lights in the ceiling and counted back from ten. This time rather than it being a mechanism to cope with his anger, it was to help him cope with the burgeoning frustration that Rey’s proximity had caused.

Ben watched her as she moved about, seeming to gain some idea of what was going on and she hurried back towards him after a few minutes while the other elf went to the door. They could hear the singing begin and Ben imagined that a line had already begun to form outside.

‘So, Olly will direct the kids down, I’ll greet them and help the smaller ones into your lap.’ Rey said as she stood beside the chair in front of the large sacks.

‘What about the presents?’ he asked, having to look down at her.

‘I’ll know what to give, don’t worry.’ She winked.

He wanted to ask her something else, but Rey was neatening her own outfit and then looked him over once more. The door was opened and so the sound of _Jingle Bells_ began to drift inside. Rey smiled and began to sing lowly, drifting from side to side as she did.

‘Come on, sing with me,’ she said, interrupting herself to look back at Ben with a grin.

Ben felt himself compelled to do so and he sang along with her for several bars, Rey’s smile widening as he went. She looked briefly at the door and then back to him, Ben missing when she had stopped singing.

It was when the song reached its last lines that Ben realised Rey was no longer singing and he stopped abruptly.

‘You have the kind of voice you can fall asleep to,’ she said airily. Then her eyes dropped from him and onto the line that was being led through the door by Olly, Ben left to turn her words around in his head, completely dumbfounded.

When he was sat with a plump five-year-old in his lap, he finally woke up and somehow managed to channel Father Christmas from mere memory alone. Though perhaps it was due to Rey’s previous words that the knee to his crotch didn’t faze Ben, nor the never-ending drool that came out of the next child’s mouth.

Rey was happily sifting through the sacks of gifts, seeming to judge the children in a very short time while they smiled and posed for a photo. Every single child ended up with a grin on receipt of their present. Ben could feel the sheer joy exuding from Rey in waves and it was infectious. He found himself actually smiling, not as a way to appease anyone, but because he wanted to, and his chest felt tight at the idea of it. He was enjoying this ridiculous show and it was easy to.

When there was a lull in the queue, of which there was one at around 3pm, Rey hurried into a room situated behind the reception desk and came back with two steaming paper cups, one of which Ben accepted with grandeur.

‘Coffee,’ she murmured. ‘I guessed how you’d like it.’

Ben sipped at the beverage, satisfied that it lacked milk or sugar and he looked into Rey’s cup, noting that it was almost white. She pulled it away from his sight with a frown.

‘Don’t judge me.’

He chuckled, drinking back more coffee, savouring the caffeine. ‘Half a cup of cream and five sugars?’

Rey narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Surely not?’ he questioned.

She turned away from him, putting her back towards him as she drank her own beverage. Ben considered that this didn’t serve as a distraction, and he merely imagined how sweet her tongue would taste now that she’d coated it in sugar and cream. He decided that, that would be the only way he’d happily accept sweet coffee.

Rey turned back then, her eyes narrowing at him. ‘Maz was right, you are very serious.’ Her mouth drew into a frown and Ben sifted through his mind in order to understand what the expression could possibly mean.

‘Am I not supposed to be?’

‘It’s not that,’ she said as she shook her head. ‘I just can’t tell what you’re thinking.’

‘I don’t think you’d want to know,’ he said automatically. Ben almost spilled his coffee, realising he’d responded out loud and he put the cup to his lips again, taking a long drink.

Rey’s lips, however, turned up into a smirk and Ben was convinced that what she was hiding behind the small expression was something he needed to know.

‘Do you want to grab a drink afterwards?’

‘Yes.’ The question had come out of nowhere, yet Ben had uttered his reply before she’d even finished her sentence and Rey laughed in return.

Olly returned from the break room with a bottle of water and started to fiddle with the photo printer, Rey leaving Ben behind as she went to assist.

He sighed, watching as she went, knowing that he was too keen, that he must have seemed at least a little bit creepy. Drinking back the rest of the coffee, he stood to toss it into the trash can beside the receptionist’s desk and got back into the chair as he watched more kids be brought in.

Santa’s grotto ended at 4pm, technically when Ben was supposed to leave, but he didn’t want to. Rey had even suggested that he could go home and come back, but he didn’t like the idea of her waiting for him, or even, her forgetting that she’d suggested drinking with him and just going home.

The carolling continued until 5pm, and Ben found himself joining in at the not so gentle persuasion of Rey’s pokes and he was wrapped up in the layers of the Santa suit, drifting with the others as they sang in the cold outside.

It took longer to pack away than it had to set up, and Ben actually communicated with the people around him, who seemed thankful for the extra pairs of hands, especially considering many of the volunteers had to leave to take care of their own families.

Ben found himself living off satisfying Rey. He did what she told him to do and the smile she gave him at his compliance was all he needed to follow after her.

They took a small break in between folding up the red carpet and the pair of them went to the rec-room. Rey sat down with a diet-coke and Ben–with another black coffee in his hands, and the Santa beard pulled down to his chin– stood, leaning against the wall beside her. There was a vat of soup that had been brought in to feed the volunteers and Rey nibbled on what remained of the bread.

‘Is that to offset the fact that you have five sugars in your coffee?’ he asked, glancing down at her canned beverage.

Rey pouted, drinking back more. ‘At least I’m trying.’

Ben shrugged and finished his coffee, crumpling the cup in his hands and tossing it into the garbage canister.

‘Thanks for staying by the way,’ she said, her lips against the cold aluminum.

He shrugged again, his hands moving to the trouser pockets of the Santa suit.

‘You look ridiculous, you know?’

Ben rubbed his hands down the front of the jacket and smiled lightly. ‘You said I could carry off this look earlier.’

Rey grinned and shook her head. ‘I changed my mind.’

He pulled on the beard strings, removing it from his person completely and he began to unbutton the Santa jacket.

When he started to pull at the belt, Rey stood, approaching him carefully before stopping in front of him. She didn’t say what she was doing so Ben hesitated when she lifted a hand to his face, swallowing unwittingly.

‘I’m not going to attack you,’ she said with mirth. Her other hand reached up too, and her forefinger and thumb grabbed for his eyebrows.

‘No don’t—’

The rip and subsequent pain he had expected didn’t come as Rey removed the fake eyebrows, and she laughed at how his eyes were squeezed tightly and his shoulders were hunched.

‘I’ll get you a wipe later to get rid of the blush,’ she added, stepping back to admire her handy work. ‘Or did my eyebrow removal just make a lasting impression on you?’ Rey added with a grin.

Thankfully she turned to toss the eyebrows while Ben internally berated himself on his lack of finesse. He was acting like a twelve-year-old who’d never even touched a pair of tits despite the fact that the distance between them had still left enough room for Jesus.

‘I’m going to go and change,’ he said, trying to sound as deadpan-normal as possible.

Rey hummed her acknowledgement, reaching across the table to grab for more bread, leaving Ben in the perfect position to view her ass in those ridiculously striped leggings that peeked out from underneath the hem of the outfit. He couldn’t help thinking as he walked out of the room that she had done it on purpose, and then he shook his head, knowing that regardless, he was putting himself in a precarious position.

It was enough that she existed, he didn’t need to think about whether she was egging him on, on purpose.

He tried exceptionally hard to clear her from his mind in order to stop even the inkling of a burgeoning erection. He couldn’t embarrass himself before he’d actually had a drink with her. If he was going to be debauched and deranged, he needed to be those things on his own time, in the comfort of his own home and in his own bed.

Ben changed back into his clothes quickly, folding up the suit neatly and placing it in the box it had come from. He removed the wig, hat and beard as well, placing them on top, and he looked at the blotches of red that Rey had painted onto his skin in the bathroom mirror.

With some tissues and water he managed to get most of it off and it only looked a little bit like he was flushed.

Rey had gone back to packing away when he reappeared, still dressed in the elf costume and singing terribly and loudly. He watched her for a moment while she hadn’t noticed his reappearance and smiled at how she danced across the tile floor, trying to get those around her to smile too.

When she did turn around with a box in her arms, her expression neutralised on meeting Ben’s and he took the box from her without a word, carrying it away and into the pile by the elevator bank.

‘I have arms,’ she called after him.


	4. Part 4

It was 7pm when the two finally left, Rey out of the costume and wrapped up in her oversized scarf, beanie and coat. Ben couldn’t help chuckling at the sight as they strolled down 14th street, Rey shivering away beneath her layers.

‘I thought you were from England, isn’t it cold there?’

Rey narrowed her eyes at him. ‘Don’t make fun,’ her words were muffled by her scarf and Ben smiled, his hands tucked deftly in his pockets.

Rey had suggested a pub on Greenwich Avenue that she frequented, and they walked in companionable silence, Ben stealing glances at Rey as they went, their eyes meeting every now and then. Ben knew she was thinking about something by the way she narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

The pub was quite large and decorated to such an extreme that Ben had to raise his eyebrows at the sheer amount of lighting and tinsel that was hanging around the windows inside. A statue Santa half his size was taking donations at the door and there was the cheery sound of Christmas music coming from inside.

‘I’m not surprised at all.’ Ben muttered.

Rey elbowed him. ‘Don’t make fun, they have exceptionally good beer.’

‘Is that so?’

On sighting an open booth in the back, Rey hurried over to it, seeming to want to attach herself to the radiator as she stripped off her outside clothes and Ben merely watched her with mirth while he grabbed two pints from the bar.

Rey had already made herself comfortable in the booth by the time Ben came over balancing the drinks and she blinked at them when he sat across from her.

‘Oh, I didn’t mean for you to get them.’ Rey said guiltily, reaching for her pint.

‘Don’t worry about it.’

She smiled and lifted the drink to her lips, humming as she sipped the beverage. Ben followed suit, his eyes not leaving hers and Rey settled forward, her arms resting on the booth’s table.

‘What did you do then?’ Rey asked pointedly.

Ben hesitated for a moment, rubbing his lips together and feeling the beer coat them as he watched Rey’s interested expression. ‘Maz didn’t tell you?’

Rey scoffed lightly and shook her head. ‘Maz doesn’t tell me anything, she likes to leave me to figure things out on my own.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like you.’

Ben considered her again and he put his pint down. ‘I punched a co-worker...a couple of times.’

Rey frowned lightly, and her fingers drifted over the condensation of her glass, seeming to balance his words in her mind. ‘Do you regret it?’

He shook his head, and he knew that any conscious effort to seem at least a reasonable person in Rey’s eyes was thrown away and he took a long glug of his beer. ‘My therapist says I should, but I can’t bring myself to.’

‘Your therapist?’ Rey repeated, a tinge of surprise in her tone.

Ben knew any illusions she had of him were broken now, though she hadn’t leaned away from him, she just continued to watch him carefully, clearly thinking.

‘Why did you hit him?’

He swallowed, and it was Ben who leaned back, his back taught against the booth as he met her gaze. ‘He decided to call my mother a whore for marrying my father, who he then called a philanderer, among other things.’ Ben’s jaw tightened as he recollected the day and he took a deep breath, counting to ten.

Rey’s frown deepened. ‘Why would he say something like that?’

‘My mother heads the Department of City Planning, so I imagine it was some irritation after his plans were rejected for a new development in Brooklyn. He likes making my life a living hell, and I…’ Ben paused, considering whether to go on, but Rey looked at him earnestly, so he continued. ‘...I struggle to keep my anger in check.’

She nodded and looked into the amber depths of her beer, taking up the glass and taking a long drink. ‘Hmm.’

‘Are you regretting having a drink with me?’ Ben asked, and he almost cringed at how disappointed he sounded.

Rey shook her head, and smiling lightly, tucked her hair behind her ears and looked at Ben carefully. ‘Nobody’s perfect,’ she supplied. ‘And despite what Kay told me, you seem to be a good person, even if you might be an asshole too.’

Ben laughed, its suddenness unexpected, and he looked at her carefully. ‘I’m probably an asshole, yeah.’

Their gazes held for a moment, Rey’s finger running the rim of her glass and Ben leaning forward. He looked about ready to say something more, but the barman stopped beside them, plopping a large plate of fries and a burger in between them.

Rey’s eyes went wide as she looked over the food, and then she looked back at Ben.

‘I thought you might be hungry.’ He reached for a fry and dipped it into the little dish of ketchup.

She grinned, grabbing a knife to cut the burger in half as she looked over the food greedily. ‘I’m going to deduce that at the very least, you are a man of sound mind.’

‘So, food is your weakness, then?’ Ben asked as he took another fry.

Rey pushed the plate with half of the burger on it towards him, and she took a large bite of her own, smiling around it as she chewed happily. ‘Better than sex.’

He scoffed and took up the burger. ‘Are you sure about that?’

She slowed down her eating, lowering the burger from her lips and back down towards the table. Ben held her gaze and said nothing, it was clear what he was asking and while it wouldn’t be right to call her reaction surprise, it looked like mild interest at the very least. Rey lifted the burger to her lips again and took another bite.

‘Do you often say such dangerous words so easily, Ben?’ She was smiling, though and he found it infectious.

He shook his head, taking a bite of the burger. Rey watched as he chewed, and a hint of a smile stretched across his lips as she watched him eat. When he eventually swallowed and licked his fingers, Rey narrowed her eyes at him, still waiting for a verbal response. ‘I just doubt the truth behind your words.’

‘Uh-huh.’ She picked up several fries, dipping them in ketchup before practically inhaling them with a grin. ‘Either you haven’t had really good food, or you have a lot of confidence in your skills.’

Ben watched her eat, knowing immediately that she was trying to get a very specific answer out of him, and he continued to eat, their gazes holding as she seemed impatient. ‘I don’t think this is the kind of conversation I should be having with someone I met at the Salvation Army during my Community Service.’

Rey burst out laughing, putting a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t spit out the vestiges of fry matter. ‘Ah yes, I almost that forgot my devotion to the church stops me from sleeping with practical strangers.’

Ben’s surprise was painted clear as a full moon on a cloudless night when his mouth dropped gormlessly open. Rey went back to eating, finishing off her half of the burger with a few more bites. When Ben said nothing more to her, she reached across, plucking his half-finished burger from his grip, her fingers brushing against his. He didn’t resist, and she chuckled as she lifted it to her own mouth, biting into it happily and finishing it unreasonably quickly.

‘You ate my burger.’ Ben stated simply.

‘Do you want to fuck me?’ Rey asked conversationally as she picked up her pint again.

There was silence between them again and Ben knew his mouth had gone dry and that the blood was rushing from his logical brain right to the depths of his crotch. She appeared to know it too, as she reached for another fry, acting as if she had said nothing at all while she sipped her beer and chewed on the remaining food.

‘Right here, in this booth?’ she added. When she still received no response, she shook her head, biting on her lip as if greatly disappointed in the man across from her. ‘Tut tut.’ Rey began to laugh then, reaching across the table to shake the hand that Ben had abandoned on its edge.

He frowned, lifting his hand away to grab for his glass. He swallowed down the rest of his pint and Rey hesitated at the sight of his tightened jaw.

‘Ben, I haven’t frightened you into silence, have I?’ Most of the mirth that had been in her voice before had gone, and her teeth worried at her bottom lip.

‘Was that not a proposal?’

Rey coughed, barely able to swallow the remains of her beer that she had decided to drink in one go during his silence. When she eventually put the glass down, clearing her throat lightly, she laughed conspiratorially. ‘Your time volunteering with us is going to be incredibly interesting.’

Ben smiled wide, wide enough that Rey’s gaze fell to his mouth and Ben could only imagine that perhaps their thoughts were the same, that she wanted to trace the edge of his lips with her fingers and with her tongue. Her words were like a drop in water, spreading through his mind like ripples of current, until he considered that perhaps it wasn’t a terrible idea at all. Perhaps it was a superb idea.

‘Do you want another drink?’ Ben asked.

She shook her head. ‘Not particularly.’

‘Do you want me to take you home?’

Rey smirked. ‘I’m sure I can find my own way there.’

‘Do you want to come to mine…for hot cocoa?’

The smile that bloomed across her features was so wide that Ben was silenced by it and she nodded quickly, her eyes alight with excitement. ‘I love hot cocoa,’ she responded, and Ben thought that perhaps she hadn’t meant what she had said before.

Ben nodded decidedly and begun to stand. ‘Should we get dessert on the way?’

‘Yes, pie, let’s get pie.’ Rey grinned as she stood, pulling on her layers again.

Ben followed her out once she was wrapped up again and Rey held the door for him and started speeding down the street, Ben having to pick up his stride to follow her.

Rey chose a cherry pie and Ben thought for a moment that she’d just get two slices, but she took out a fresh twenty dollar note and bought the entire thing. She didn’t allow him to carry it either, as if he would run off with it if she did.

He only lived a few blocks away, so they could walk, but Ben could tell that Rey was already freezing and she slowed, trying to fold in on herself to keep the heat in despite achieving little success. Ben glanced over her as they walked, and he held out an arm to her, knowing that he was likely warmer.

She smiled a thank you as she grabbed onto it, gaining a few degrees from his body heat.

‘So, are you rich or do you just live in a hole in somebody’s basement?’

Ben’s brows knitted together, confused. ‘Why?’

‘Well lower Manhattan is not even in my stratosphere, let alone my price range.’

He chuckled and shook his head. ‘I inherited it.’

‘Ah, so old money rich,’ Rey responded with a grin.

‘I wouldn’t go that far.’

Rey tightened her grip on Ben’s arm, turning in her other arm to grab a hold, the bag of pie loosely hitting his hip as they walked.

‘Am I that warm?’ he murmured.

She nodded. ‘You also smell really nice, so I appreciate that.’

Rey couldn’t have missed his smile widen as he looked away from her, and she gripped onto his arm tighter.

‘You know you made a terrible first...and second impression on Kay and Dom?’ Rey asked.

Ben nodded, feeling partially guilty, especially if they were good friends with Rey. ‘I suppose I don’t have an excuse.’

‘Yet you were an absolute angel with me, hmmm?’ she added, pulling her scarf down briefly.

He smiled. ‘That’s different.’

‘How so?’

Ben looked at her carefully, her eyes dark brown with only the streetlights to illuminate them. ‘I think you could convince me to do almost anything.’

Rey chuckled. ‘Even dance in the street?’

‘You’d get cold if I did.’

‘True.’

‘Maybe you should make it up to them and be well behaved on Wednesday?’ Rey suggested, looking up at him earnestly.

Ben nodded lightly. ‘I suppose I can do that. Though I’m not sure how far my enthusiasm can stretch.’

Rey laughed softly, her cheek resting lightly against Ben’s arm. ‘You don’t have to be enthusiastic to help. Sometimes lending an ear is enough...especially now that it’s almost Christmas and a lot of people are alone for the holidays.’

‘What do you usually do for the holidays?’

She shrugged, and her eyes dropped to their feet, watching as they moved across the pavement. ‘Sometimes I volunteer and I have Christmas dinner with whoever comes. Sometimes I visit Maz, but that never lasts for very long. I don’t know, sometimes I just end up feeling like the world is collapsing around me.’ She huffed, clearly annoyed and her arm slipped from Ben’s. ‘I’m going to apologise, because I am being exceptionally dark today.’

Ben watched her warily as she made a space between them and clutched the pie bag tightly, her arms folding across her body.

‘You’re just very easy to say things to.’

‘Rey.’ She continued walking and he repeated her name again. ‘Hey, stop walking ahead.’ Rey turned to him, biting on her bottom lip, and it was already purple from the cold and she began to shiver again. ‘You said it’s enough to lend an ear, right? Let me be your ear.’

His hand reached out to her and she looked at it, stopping abruptly. He took the pie from her, holding it in the hand furthest away from her and Ben waited for her to grip onto his arm again. She tightened her scarf around the bottom half of her face, trying to shield from the cold as she held onto him again.

‘I lied before,’ she murmured softly, her forehead against his shoulder and her words half muffled by her scarf. ‘I was fostered once, when I was ten and I thought it was the best thing that could ever happen. I thought that finally something good would happen.’ Rey sighed softly and looked up at Ben to find he was looking down at her carefully, not paying attention to where they were walking. ‘The family weren’t very nice to put it simply,’ she continued, looking ahead briefly. ‘They would kick me out of the house when they wanted their privacy and one day they didn’t let me back in. Maybe not maliciously, but they didn’t, and it was so cold. I didn’t have a very thick coat, I didn’t even have a scarf or gloves, and it had snowed all weekend.’ Her arm squeezed his. ‘I thought that I’d get to spend a Christmas with people who chose to love me, but they wanted to spend it with their own children and it was so so cold, and everything was closed because it was Christmas day.’

‘What did you do?’ Ben asked, his voice strained. He wanted to swaddle her in a cocoon and hide her away, hating how she was on the verge of crying and holding it in probably for his sake.

‘I thought that maybe I could find the foster home. At least at Christmas I had the other kids there with me, but I got lost and Ben...old Ben went looking for me and found me in the park. I don’t really remember how I got there, or why I went there, but when I woke up I was in the hospital and I never saw that foster family again.’

Ben breathed heavily, his exhalation crystallizing around him. ‘And you still love Christmas?’

Rey huffed and looked back up at him, his eyes seeming to shine as they looked down at her. As if tears were growing there. ‘How did you know?’

He smiled and shrugged lightly. ‘A good guess?’

‘You know a lot of things about me now.’

‘So, do you,’ he murmured in reply.

Ben took another breath and looked down at her candidly. ‘You shouldn’t ever spend a Christmas alone again. Not like that. Not even a second of it should be spent without someone beside you, do you understand?’

‘Is that an order?’

He huffed a laugh and nodded. ‘Yes, it’s an order.’

‘Will you set me up with a kind family this Christmas, Ben?’ she asked, some mirth in her words as she looked at him. He already felt relieved at the change in her temperament.

He shook his head and turned the corner, beginning the short walk down the rest of the street towards the brownstone that he had inherited from his grandfather. ‘You’ll spend Christmas with me...if you want.’

Rey chuckled. ‘You’re so ahead of yourself, aren’t you?’

Ben nodded, and they stopped as he let go of her. Rey looked around them, her eyes brightening at the beautiful houses that lined the street. He sifted through his pockets and pulled out a set of keys from an inner pocket and climbed the stairs in two before opening the door. Rey hurried after him, wanting to keep out of the cold, and she quickly shut the door behind her.

‘I would give you a tour, but I know you’re exceptionally cold.’ He moved through the house, turning on lights and then he slipped through a door. By the time Rey had caught up, he was lighting the fireplace and she barely had time to register the room that she was in.

The living room was large and heavily furnished, with a ruby red rug set across the maple-coloured hardwood floor in front of the fireplace. Ornate frames adorned the walls filled with serious faces, but ones that seemed happy. Above the fireplace sat a large family portrait of Ben as a teenager, looking exceptionally moody while his parents smiled behind him.

There were older photos in smaller frames featuring a young man that looked sort of like Ben, then another with a beautiful woman who sometimes shared his frame. Rey guessed that they were his grandparents and she smiled as she surveyed every image with wonder and her own dose of jealousy.

She could already feel the room heat up immensely, so moved to unzip her coat and remove her hat, gloves and scarf. Ben took the garments, leaving the room with them.

Rey followed, seeing Ben hang her coat and his own in a small closet beneath the stairs.

‘Cocoa?’

She nodded with a grin and he led her to the kitchen in the back of the house. It had been redone in the last ten years at least–bearing no resemblance to the aged look of the living room–but it had a warm look about it.

‘How do you like yours?’ Ben asked as he sifted through the cupboard and fridge, removing the necessary ingredients.

‘Loads of cream, marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles.’

Ben grinned. ‘I shouldn’t have bothered asking.

Rey pouted, and he removed the ingredients all the same. Ben glanced back at her as he began to heat the milk, amused at Rey’s questioning expression.

‘This is the one thing my dad taught me to do, and I fully believe it is the only thing he knew how to make.’ Ben murmured as he stirred the milk.

‘Is he still around?’ Rey asked, leaning against the counter.

Ben shook his head. ‘He died when I was a senior, so it’s just me, my mom and my uncle...and whichever friends appear to entertain.’

‘Was he like you?’

‘I’m not going to answer that.’

She laughed, smiling widely as the smell of melting chocolate filled the kitchen. Rey grabbed the pie bag from the edge of the counter and removed the dessert, lying it on the side as she searched around the space for a drawer of cutlery. It was the last one she opened, and she removed two forks, sticking them both into the pie.

‘No plates? No slices?’ Ben asked.

‘Never.’

He chuckled to himself as he went back to the cocoa, pouring it into two large mugs and then adding huge swirls of whipped cream, marshmallows and sprinkles to them both. Rey grabbed the pie while he took up the two beverages.

They ended up back in the living room, the room the perfect temperature and both placed the pie and mugs on the coffee table in front of the plush sofa. Rather than sit on the sofa itself like Ben expected, Rey sat on the floor, her boots beside her and as close to the pie as she could get. He sat beside her, leaning back against the sofa and looking up at the ornamental light fixture for a moment.

‘Is that your grandfather?’ Rey asked, pointing at a photo beside her on the wall. She took up her mug of cocoa and sipped at it gingerly, quickly wiping her nose when she realised the cream was too high.

Ben looked over at the wall and nodded. ‘Yes, and my grandmother.’

‘You smile like her,’ Rey commented. ‘Were they around?’

He shook his head, taking up his own mug. ‘They died before I was born. My grandmother died having my mother and uncle, though my grandfather didn’t take it well, and my mom ended up being brought up by other relatives. In the end he fixed things, but it wasn’t how it should have been.’

‘I suppose we aren’t alone in that.’ Rey murmured.

Ben nodded lightly, watching as Rey took up a forkful of pie and ate it, a wry smile lighting up her features.

‘What about your uncle, where is he?’

He looked around the room before pointing at a photo on the opposite side of the room. It was a photo of three men, one exceptionally tall and hairy, the other Rey recognised as Ben’s father and another who she imagined was his uncle.

‘My mother has most of his photos,’ he murmured. ‘We don’t exactly get on.’

Rey sipped more of her cocoa. ‘Why is that?’

Ben sighed heavily, looking back at her. ‘I decided not to work at his company and he didn’t take me working for his competition well.’

‘Well it’s a good thing you punched your colleague in the face. Surely he wants to get rid of you now, and you have a means of making up with your uncle.’ Rey had begun to grin like it was the most genius suggestion ever thought up, and Ben looked at her like she had lost her mind.

Noting that he hadn't received it well, Rey leaned back, taking a large spearing of pie with her. ‘New year, new you?’

Ben shook his head. ‘I’m not sure about that.’

‘Hey,’ she said softly, and she moved closer to him, turning to face him. ‘Don’t wait until the end to fix things like your grandfather.’

His lips screwed into a pout and Rey chuckled softly, taking a forkful of pie and forcing it against Ben’s lips, happy when he finally opened his mouth to eat it.

‘Good, right?’

Ben nodded, his eyes not breaking from hers.

Rey went back to her cocoa and held it in her hands, revelling in the warmth in her palms. She removed a hand to poke a finger into the cream, swirling it around and putting it into her mouth, taking a few marshmallows with her.

‘Your cocoa isn’t bad.’

‘I appreciate getting your seal of approval.’

She grinned and lifted the cup to her lips again.

Ben sat comfortably as he watched her drink and eat more pie. She glanced at him every now and then, as if she were wondering what he was looking at so intently, as if it wasn't her. There was no denying what was between them as he looked at her and Rey held his gaze, basking in it with a wry smile.  

‘You didn’t answer me before, about Christmas.’

Rey smirked, leaning her head back to rest on the couch cushion. ‘I’ll tell you tomorrow.’ She looked around the room then. ‘I don’t know if I can make that decision right now when you don’t even have a tree yet.’

‘I was busy being arrested and sent to court.’

She laughed and ate another forkful of pie. ‘We can get a tree tomorrow and I’ll help you put it up.’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘Tomorrow.’ There was a finality to her nod and Ben smiled.

‘Would you also have dinner with me?’ he asked.

Rey nodded again. ‘As long as it’s Chinese.’

‘Anything you want,’ he answered grinning, his eyes wide and earnest.

Their eye contact didn’t break, and Rey seemed to be looking for something in him. Ben just blinked back at her and she turned, facing him fully before leaning into him, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as she hugged him tightly, kneeling as she did.

Ben breathed out unevenly, letting Rey hug him until she pulled away a short time later, sitting back on her legs with a smile on her face.

‘You remind me of Old Ben,’ she murmured quietly.

Though Ben was wrought with confusion. He was under the impression that the old Ben who had taken care of Rey was a good man, a charitable man and Ben didn’t think that anything else could be further from him.

Her hand moved against his chest then, pressing earnestly against his sternum, above his heart. ‘An honest heart isn’t something you can change or deny.’

He didn’t know how to respond, so Rey leant back and dug into the pie again. Yet she didn’t bring the fork to her lips but to Ben’s, and she waited for him to open his mouth. The piece was larger than it should have been, and he struggled to chew it without it crumbling out of his mouth.

Rey barely contained her laughter and her fingers automatically reached up to pull on one of Ben’s stray dark curls, her grin wide, her eyes alive and the fork discarded on the coffee table. ‘You are not what I expected you to be.’

‘You’re better,’ he replied effortlessly in response, receiving another peal of laughter from Rey.

She folded her legs underneath her, leaning further into Ben with a wry smile. ‘I’m going to spend the night here Benjamin, is that okay?’

He nodded, losing himself in her words. His eyes skittered between hers and it was like neither of them could decide who should move first. Ben’s hand reached for her, but he hesitated, worried that he would have ruined it before it had all even started. Their lips met, though and they were both undecided on who moved first as they joined together. Rey sighed against him as she edged closer, Ben pulling her toward him by her waist as her fingers tangled in his hair.

Ben broke the kiss abruptly, as if he were going to say something, but at the last moment he decided against it, and instead, pulled Rey up with him from the floor. Without a word, he carried her up the stairs, Rey bursting out laughing as he struggled with her and the shut door of his bedroom.

‘You didn’t think very far, ahead did you?’ she questioned as he put her back down.

He frowned as Rey reached for the handle, pulling it down, stepping in and flicking the light switch on.

Ben watched Rey as she scanned the room, her eyes dropping to his sizable bed and looking back at him as if to measure him against it. Without a word she jumped onto it and crawled across its expanse, grinning madly at Ben.

‘Okay, I need this bed,’ she said as she pulled back the sheets and tucked herself in.

‘Is that it?’ Ben asked. ‘You are going to fall asleep in my bed fully clothed?’

Rey giggled, pulling the covers over herself more. ‘I’m very satisfied Ben. You’ve fed me pie and given me hot cocoa. I can so easily drift off in the warmth of these covers.’

Ben could see her star fishing in his bed and he approached slowly, sitting at the edge of the bed eventually. Silence descended on them both when Rey became caught in his gaze.

‘I…’ Rey sat up and the sheets fell from around her. It was as if she had begun to shrink into her oversized jumper. ‘I don’t want you to get the wrong impression,’ she finished.

His confusion was evident by the lines that formed between his brows and he turned further onto his bed to meet her fully. ‘Of what?’

‘That this is casual,’ she murmured.

Ben wasn’t sure what to say and he paused to think, calculating hers; deducing that she meant that she would only sleep with him with the express knowledge that he wouldn’t throw her away afterwards. His brows furrowed together, not able to even imagine it, and he didn’t know where to begin to indicate that. He’d meant it when he’d said that he had never met anyone like her, and after only a few days, he was already under the distinct impression that he would never meet anyone like her again.

Rey seemed to read him, though, and she smiled softly, her hand reaching to his across the covers. ‘I knew I didn’t have to say that.’

‘Am I that easy to read?’ he asked.

She shrugged lightly, and the tips of his fingers touched hers gently, their distances too far across the wide bed to do any more than that. ‘Perhaps.’

‘We don’t have to do anything,’ he said automatically, looking at her with guilt.

‘I was serious when I asked if you wanted to fuck me, Benjamin.’ Despite the bright expression she wore on her face, Ben was surprised by the sheer candid tone of her words.

‘Ah, and I never really answered that, did I?’ he noted, to the room more than to Rey.

She snorted softly and leant forward onto her knees, pushing the duvet back. Ben watched as she crawled across the bed, Rey only stopping when her legs were folded up underneath her and she knelt beside him. Her fingers reached to touch his hair, twisting the dark locks between her fingers before they combed through, her nails grazing his scalp.

Ben closed his eyes, feeling relief at the light touch and knowing that whatever growing arousal he had felt since the restaurant, was a glimmer to what he felt at this moment. He could hear her breathing softly, feeling the warm air of her exhales as she pulled herself closer to him, and then he sighed when he felt her lips against the side of his neck. They grazed the skin there, planting feather light kisses against his throat, and he lifted his chin, giving her better access as she kissed his adam’s apple. Eventually her path brought her back upwards and her mouth slanted against his. The both of them relaxed into each other, Ben letting out a huge exhale that he hadn’t know he’d been holding.

Rey giggled against his lips, her hold on his face soft as she climbed into his lap and Ben moved so that he was sat on the edge of the bed again. Her tongue slipped against the seam of his lips, tentatively requesting access before the both of them could breathe each other in. His hands moved towards her thighs, Rey accepting his attention until she was straddled across his own and she sighed as his fingers tightened on her and he shuddered against her kiss.

There was no hiding his arousal when it was pressed against Rey’s stomach. Her hand reached between them, unbuckling his belt and pulling his zip down, palming him gently through his underwear, and his trousers became a forgotten barrier. Ben attempted to do the same by pulling her leggings down, though before he could, she moved her position, purposefully placing herself over his erection. The gasp that briefly left her mouth was shared with Ben’s, before she pulled away, eyes engaged with his; semi-glazed over.

Ben’s jumper was removed first, Rey impatiently struggling with it as it was pulled over his head. Her’s came next, though on unequal footing as Ben had an undershirt beneath his jumper, while Rey was left in only her bra.

‘Candy canes?’ His eyes flicked to the small images on the padded cups rather than on what they obscured, and Ben was only diverted away by Rey’s scoff.

‘Are they that much of a distraction?’ she asked.

He wasn’t given the chance to respond, as Rey decided to grind herself over Ben, plucking a groan right from his mouth. The smile she responded with told Ben all that he needed to know.

With little effort, Ben lifted Rey from his lap and onto her back. She wrapped her legs around his waist, keeping him pressed against her as his larger body loomed over hers.

Rey’s smile was bright as she pulled him back to kiss her again, her back lifting off the bed as she let out a mewl against his lips. Ben was drawn further towards her, his eyes closing tightly shut as her legs secured around him, locking him against her. His fingers tried to reach down to pull her leggings away, but she wasn’t allowing much movement and Ben grew distracted as she swirled her hips over him.

Her fingers slid into his belt loops, pulling his trousers further down until they hung around his thighs. Ben looked to her, and she loosened her grip, pulled down her leggings and slid her feet out of them along with her own socks. Ben quickly followed her lead, his trousers and socks falling to the floor.

When Ben began to grind against her again, Rey let out a satisfied moan and her hand slipped beneath his shirt, clawing at his skin with a cold hand. Their lips met again briefly before Ben retreated to press kisses across her throat and chest, desperate to unclasp her bra and set her free.

‘Do that more.’ Rey sighed as her chest arched towards him.

Ben thrusted more roughly against her crotch, feeling the dampening of both of their underwear due to the exertion and arousal between them. He groaned against her shoulder, already imagining being buried within her.

He leaned back briefly to catch her eyes and she smiled, reaching to touch his face, her chest heaving, and a blush spread across it. ‘You make me feel impossibly overwhelmed,’ she murmured, smile wide.

‘I’m glad.’ His lips pressed across the pulse point at her neck and Rey groaned again.

‘Tell me what you’ll do,’ she panted out.

Ben’s tightly closed eyes opened again as he looked down at her. ‘Right now?’

She shook her head, a smile appearing again. Her arms reached around his neck, holding him against her chest, and Ben felt her quiver against him with every forward movement of his hips against hers. ‘For Christmas this year.’

‘You want to know now?’

‘I just want to hear your voice.’

Ben huffed, holding back his laugh. ‘I don’t know if I can multitask that well.’

Rey keened, her thighs tightening around him again. He could hear her breathing deepen as he moved, and Ben groaned knowing that she liked this, that he was getting her off just from grinding against her, even though the gratification wasn’t so pronounced for him.

‘I’m sure you can do both, you’re so full of talents.’ Her lips tilted up in mirth.

‘I’m going to ignore that sarcasm considering you look divine.’

‘I look divine?’ she queried, a lightness in her voice.

Ben hummed in agreement, leaning back for a moment much to Rey’s chagrin. Her hair–that had been tied in a loose bun–had already come undone and her shoulder length hair was a tangle amongst his bed sheets. The blush had climbed her throat towards her cheeks and the friction of Ben’s beard against her chin had left pink marks on her soft skin. When her half-closed eyes met his, it was the most erotic thing Ben had ever seen and he closed his eyes, trying to steel himself so that he wouldn’t come in five seconds when he was actually inside her. A small part of him considered that perhaps he would, and it didn’t help him by thinking of the potential embarrassment his premature ejaculation would bring. His hands dropped from her, fisting the covers in his hands.

Rey giggled, and his eyes snapped back to her, her hands against his waist, soothing the skin there and kneading the muscles beneath his shirt.

‘I told you earlier what I wanted.’

‘You want me to fuck you?

She nodded. Her eyes closed for a minute and her chin lifted, her back arching again. The noise that left her mouth stopped Ben halfway through his next thrust, and he moaned, his lips against her clavicle.

‘What are you doing to me?’ he questioned absently, feeling his cock throb as it sought the warm depth of her.

Rey’s fingers tightened on his waist and she whined softly. ‘I’m close, so close.’

Ben, eager to make her orgasm, changed his method again, rocking upward slowly and increasing the rotation in his hips. His spine tingled at Rey’s soft huff, and the hand that she drew up his spine.

‘Ben, where are you? Why are all the lights on?’

The both of them froze. Ben craned his head towards the door, making Rey aware of his annoyance as it descended across his features. A laugh bubbled behind her lips and her fingers pulled on his t-shirt.

‘Is that your mother?’ she asked.

Ben nodded.

‘You didn't say you lived with your mother,’ she commented.

He looked back at her, seeing for the first time the absolute laughter dancing in her eyes.

‘I don't, she lives with me.’ he bit back.

The laughter erupted from her then and Ben had to lift up a hand and place it over her mouth to stop her, her eyes widening at his action.

‘If we're quiet she'll eventually disappear,’ he whispered, completely confident.

Rey rolled her eyes and Ben couldn’t understand why she wasn’t frustrated or even angry that she’d been so close before being robbed of completion.

She reached up to pull his hand away from her mouth. ‘Yet I would quite like to meet your mother.’

Ben looked at her like she was insane, and he leaned up off of her, Rey following him into a sitting position.

‘That's a strange wish.’

Rey smiled, and she reached for him, her lips against his and Ben could feel that she was still smiling as she kissed him. Her fingers tucked his hair behind his ears and when she pulled back she grinned.

‘You know she might just start looking for you and find us in this precarious position. It wouldn't be the best first impression, especially if I'm going to be spending Christmas with you both.’

Ben considered that she was probably right and then he smiled. ‘I thought you said you'd decide tomorrow, and who says my mother would be included in my Christmas plans?’

Rey slid from beneath him, reaching for her jumper, pulling it on and pulling her leggings up over her legs. ‘You did, you promised to find me a family for Christmas.’ She laughed lightly when Ben scoffed and followed her, pulling his jumper on and adjusting himself in his trousers. His fingers brushed against the front of his underwear and he groaned internally, feeling the soaked material. That was Rey, he thought. All for him, all because of him.

‘And what you asked of me?’ His voice was clipped and tight; his eyes still living in the previous five minutes.

Her eyes glanced down to his hidden erection and she debated with herself for a moment. Then she held out her hand to Ben. ‘I never said I was going anywhere.’

Ben hesitated before taking her hand, looking at her with such deep confusion that he became lost for a moment. The way she was smiling and offering so much more than just a hand–more than her soft groans, and he wanted everything. He wanted to fall into her and never leave her embrace. He wanted every part of her and he wanted to give her every part of himself.

He took her hand, leading them the few short steps to the door.

On having returned to the lower floor of the house, they found Ben’s mother nursing a whiskey, sitting on the plush sofa and looking up at the family portrait.

‘I was wondering where you went to,’ she murmured, hearing footsteps but not looking over at her son.

‘Mom.’

Her brow creased in a frown and she turned seeing the two of them standing in the doorway. Her eyebrows rose at the beautiful young woman holding her son's hand, who couldn’t have been more than twenty-five.

‘This is Rey,’ he said warily as his mother looked over the young woman.

Rey was smiling wide and reached forward. ‘Ben's told me a lot about you, it's great to meet you.’

Leia didn’t seem to believe her words and she glanced at her son, who surprisingly looked exceptionally nervous. Leia smiled then and softly shook Rey's hand, gesturing to the seat beside her, leaving Ben to stand awkwardly beside them.

‘It’s Leia. And he did? Ben isn't exactly a forthcoming person.’

Rey raised her brows. ‘Really? He seems to answer my questions very easily.’

Leia gave her son a pointed look. ‘Huh. Is this a Christmas miracle?’ she said, her voice laced in humour. ‘Where did you find him?’ she asked Rey.

Ben didn't seem amused by the question, but Rey grinned. ‘The Salvation Army were having a sale, it seems.’

‘Good to know that Maz still runs a tight ship over there. I knew my son wasn't completely hopeless.’

‘I'm right here, by the way.’ Ben muttered, deciding to sit himself in the armchair across the room.

Leia smiled and picked up her whiskey, sipping at it before looking from her son to Rey. She noted how he leaned forward, half on edge and had begun to stare a hole into the side of Rey's face.

‘Did I interrupt you both?’ she asked casually.

They were both silent and Leia filled its expanse with laughter.

‘We were just about to go.’ Ben said, standing again.

Rey looked to him, raising her eyebrows.

‘It's almost 11. What? Are you two going to the discotheque?’

Ben narrowed his eyes and Rey burst out laughing, echoing _discotheque_ as she chuckled.

‘No.’

‘It was lovely to meet you, Leia.’

Ben grabbed for the pie and two mugs of almost-finished cocoa as he left the room, padding into the kitchen to throw the items into the sink and re-wrap the pie. He couldn’t hear what, if anything, his mother was saying to Rey, so he hurried, bagging the pie. Opening the cupboard beneath the stairs, he pulled his coat on and then took his scarf and Rey’s outside clothes out.

‘Thank you.’

It was his mother’s voice and he turned, looking into the room to find his mother smiling at Rey, who seemed confused.

Hearing him approach, Rey turned to see him carrying her coat in his arms. He glanced at his mother who just smirked as she watched him help Rey into her coat and boots.

‘I don’t think the discotheque closes for a couple hours yet,’ Leia murmured, her voice tellingly mocking.

Ben tried to restrain himself from pouting to little affect and then his eyes met Rey’s, and she smiled at him, her cheeks staining red as he wrapped her scarf carefully around her neck. He felt himself fall into the delicate expression and he mirrored it, wanting to kiss her as her hands gripped onto the edges of his coat, holding him close.

When they eventually reached the hallway, they both pulled on their gloves, Ben kneeling to pick up the pie in its paper bag before they stepped outside.

The blisteringly cold air swept around them, and Rey’s eyes dropped to the bag, grinning wide when she noticed the contents, though she lifted her hands to her mouth at the pain of the cold air against the sensitive skin.

‘I think your decision to leave was rather drastic, Ben.’ Rey said, barely containing her giggles and only spurred on by her shivering as she hopped from one foot to the other. ‘I'm sure your mother wouldn't have minded if we stayed.’

He shook his head. ‘And wake up on Sunday and have breakfast with her?’

Rey smiled. ‘What's so bad about that? I imagine it will be a repeat offence.’

Ben was silent for a moment, meeting her eyes. His gloved hands reached and held her cheeks softly and he kissed her gently, warming her already cold lips and smiling as Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, chasing his warmth and pulling him closer.

‘Did you like what I said that much?’ she questioned.

Ben nodded, and Rey laughed heartily.

‘I told you my greatest secrets, do you think I would just leave them with you and disappear?’

He shrugged softly. ‘You might have tried.’

She shook her head. ‘I might be getting ahead of myself, but never.’

Ben kissed her once more and then he pulled her arm through his and began walking, aimlessly considering that he had no idea where Rey lived.

‘Where are we going?’

‘To finish what we started.’

Rey chuckled. ‘A bit cold, no?’

‘You have an apartment, don’t you?’ he questioned

She hummed in acknowledgement but slowed down her pace. ‘Though how do you know I don’t have roommates?’ she asked. ‘How do you even know I want you to go there? What if I told you I have a single bed?’

Ben studied her expression for a moment and he seemed to decide on a guess. ‘Is your apartment a mess?’

‘Shut up,’ she hissed almost automatically.

He found it oddly endearing. ‘Is it that embarrassing?’ he asked.

Rey shrugged lightly. ‘Just a few things in a few places they shouldn’t be.’

She looked back to him when he chuckled, and she seemed to react to his expression, a smile breaching across her face again. They continued down the road in relative silence, Rey trying to leech all of Ben’s warmth away, while he sighed in delight because she was next to him.

‘You’re going to tire me out before you even get me naked,’ she commented as they rounded a corner and she yawned pointedly.

Ben seemed to pick up the pace and Rey laughed as he all but jogged down the street, eventually slowing down when he saw the sign for 8th Street station.

‘You don’t even know where I live, Ben.’ Rey all about exclaimed, feeling warmer now that they were moving so quickly, but thinking that Ben had lost his mind.

He looked to her, expecting for her to tell him, and she relented, giving her address. Ben pulled her along to hurry her down the street towards the station, and Rey laughed at his determination to reach the R train that was just about to leave.


	5. Part 5

They sat beside each other with Rey clinging onto Ben like she’d fall if she didn’t, and her head rested on his shoulder as she looked up at him through her eyelashes. Ben asked her about what she had been doing before she moved to New York and she said that after finishing her bachelors, she’d received funding to complete a Masters in Electrical Engineering at NYU. Since then she’d been mostly doing lab work for the school and wasn’t sure whether she should move on.

Ben told her about the time before his dad had died. The kind of trouble they’d get into because his father was carefree and a terrible influence. He’d had his first beer when he’d been twelve, and that had quickly been upgraded to whiskey by the time he’d gotten to thirteen.

‘I suppose it’s good that he treated me like that. At least I think so,’ Ben murmured, his brow furrowed, seemingly deep in thought. ‘I can at least say that I got to share a beer with my dad at least once.’

Rey sighed lightly, her head lifting away from Ben’s shoulder as she looked at him. Ben could feel that she was studying him, and he was wary about what she was seeing, what she was thinking.

‘I think...I think I know what you mean,’ she eventually said. She smiled wryly and at the overhead announcement, she blinked and stood quickly as the train shuddered to a stop at Court Street.

The two of them jumped off, Rey having taken responsibility of the pie somewhere between Canal Street and City Hall. They walked with a step between them and Ben already missed her arm in his.

‘I should have asked before,’ Rey said, her tone strangely casual. Ben narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Have you got condoms?’ she continued.

He was about to reply in the affirmative, when he patted down the pockets of his coat and considered that he hadn’t had sex in quite a while. ‘Uh, no.’

Rey clucked her tongue, swinging the pie in her hands. ‘We might as well go to the discotheque like your mother suggested,’ she said nonchalantly, and Ben groaned out loud, loud enough that it disturbed a passing cat and Rey laughed. ‘Are you clean?’ she questioned.

‘Yeah,’ he replied, a frown still flavouring his expression.

‘Then it’s okay.’

He looked to say something, but she shook her head. ‘No, you won’t have a chance at impregnating me, Ben.’

‘We’re not going to almost do it, are we?’ Ben groaned, the memory of a mere hour ago still fresh in his mind.

Rey scoffed. ‘Ask the fates of the universe. If my neighbour starts banging on my door saying she needs a doctor, just take it that the universe is telling us we should remain celibate.’

‘Celibate with dry-humping, at least?’ Ben countered.

Rey was unable to hold back the chortle that begun in her gut and she laughed loudly as they walked the street, getting a car-honk for all the noise.

‘Ben?’ She said after her laughter had abated and she could breathe properly again.

‘Yeah?’

‘I really like you.’

‘I really like you too.’

‘I also want to see you naked, really badly,’ she admitted rather easily.

Ben huffed, looking at her. ‘That’s all I’ve been thinking about for two days.’

Rey grinned, and she bumped his shoulder with hers. Ben looked at her like he was trying to memorise his fractions and she grinned as he did so, barely registering that they’d made it to the apartment, and that there was nothing between them and sexual completion.

Rey’s apartment wasn’t as bad as Ben had expected. There were a few shoes and items of clothing strewn about, and a cereal bowl still in the sink, but everything else was neat, almost untouched even.

She was taking off her coat when he closed the door behind them, locking it quickly.

‘More cocoa?’ she queried with a grin, unzipping her boots and standing them up next to the sofa.

‘I think we’ve had enough of a night cap.’

He could see from the fluorescent arms of her wall clock that it was almost midnight and he was thankful that the state had at least given him one day’s reprieve on the weekend. His fingers were absently undoing the buttons on his coat and he stopped when they were moved out of the way by Rey’s fingers. She pulled the garment from his shoulders and hung it on the back of the front door.

‘Get comfortable,’ she said happily, before she bounded off to the bathroom.

Ben removed his boots and looked around, considering how to entertain himself, and ended up washing up the bowl in the sink and then rearranging the cushions on Rey’s sofa.

She left the bathroom soon after, looking at Ben curiously as his large form stood in the centre of her apartment.

‘You’re looking very awkward.’ She grinned and turned, opening a shut door and Ben could see her bed behind it. It was a modestly sized room, and was big enough to hold a queen-sized bed, not the single-bed that Rey had threatened there might be. ‘We don’t have to if you’ve changed your mind.’ She commented nonchalantly.

Rey pulled her jumper over her head and walked into her room, flicking the switch and adjusting the jumper over a clothes hanger on her closet door.

‘You really think I would do that?’ Ben asked, following after her.

When he found her, Rey was laughing softly, standing in the room in her bra and leggings. ‘I don’t know, you look really nervous,’ she murmured, her eyes looking over Ben carefully. He removed his jumper quickly and this time the t-shirt under it went with it and Rey was left to eagerly look over his naked torso.

‘Wow, Kay would have a field day with you,’ Rey said, barely above a whisper and her hands reaching out to touch Ben.

‘Kay would what?’ Ben asked, almost choking on his own saliva.

Rey laughed and shook her head. ‘Not like that, Ben. She’s a portrait artist,’ her lips pinched together however. ‘I probably shouldn’t mention her, should I?’

Ben shook his head as Rey’s fingers glanced over his skin, still cold and eliciting a sharp hiss from him. He decided not to mind as she grinned wide, her fingers grazing over both of his nipples, then stretching to reach over his shoulders and wrap around his neck.

He took that as permission to kiss her, and their tongues met easily with Rey winding her arms around him tighter. Ben’s hand reached to her bra strap and he undid the clasp, though it was still held up between them. Rey moaned against him, feeling his erection press against her stomach again and she loosened an arm, reaching between them to undo the belt and button on his trousers.

‘Maybe it was a really good idea for us to come here,’ she murmured, taking a breath before their lips met again.

Ben chuckled, the sound deep within his throat. He peeled a bra strap from one shoulder but was halted when Rey’s hand went back to his trousers to pull at the zip, releasing him from straining against it, though still within the confines of his briefs.

Her other arm dropped from his neck and Ben took the opportunity to remove her bra completely, tossing it to his side. He looked over her as Rey stood inoffensively, her arms at her sides, and she grinned at his expression.

She stepped back then, pulling down her leggings and stepping out of them. His eyes roved over her completely and he licked his lips, immediately wanting to reach for her and remove her underwear — the last barricade between him and salvation.

Before he could, Rey pulled at his trousers again and Ben happily stepped out of them, wanting to do whatever she wanted and looking at her like a loyal puppy.

‘Ben,’ she sang softly, her hands moving to his. She lifted one to her waist and the other to her breast, before her lips met his again. The kiss was soothing like a warm bath after a run, and Ben wanted to sink into her, so desperately wanting to be inside of her that he couldn’t help but moan and jerk as his cock strained against her stomach, seeking her out.

‘God. Rey, please, he groaned, and she smiled against his lips.

‘I’m here Ben,’ she murmured. ‘I’m all yours.’

His eyes met hers and he saw that they were bright and searching his, wanting and waiting. He had backed her to the edge of her bed without realising and at a glance towards it, she was sinking into it, edging up to its centre as Ben crawled over to her.

‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked. ‘Tell me what you want.’ Ben closed his eyes, and shook his head, trying to reel himself in.

Rey smiled, and her legs pulled him towards her and she sighed as he pressed against her, walled by her bent knees. ‘I really liked where we were earlier,’ she murmured.

Her eyes flicked open when she felt Ben’s hot breath against a nipple and she felt goose bumps against her flesh as his tongue reached out, soaking it and then sucking on it. He ground down on her and she was unable to hold back the high-moan that breached her throat.

‘Like this?’ he asked, moving to administer the same attention to her other breast as he rocked against her gently.

She nodded, her eyes closing as she chewed on her lip. Ben pressed more solidly, his hand reaching beneath her knee to cocoon her closer to him. Her breath hitched, and her hands reached for him. Their chests met, and Ben lathed kisses against her throat, tasting her skin as he trailed against its expanse and Rey mewled beneath him, welcoming the friction between them.

Ben could feel Rey’s soaked underwear was dampening his own once more. He would rather have been drenched in the moist warmth of her, but he found satisfaction in doing as Rey wanted and she wanted him to grind against her, to dry-hump her until she had come.

Their mouths met again, lips and teeth bumping as they became clumsy.

‘I want...I want.’ Rey was barely able to get anything out as Ben almost thrust into her, the cotton of their underwear breaching, but halting him from going very far and Rey sighed aloud, not expecting the intrusion and not expecting the stretch that a mere touch had provided.

He moved over her, his lips more easily lining up with hers, but his underwear-covered crotch far past where she sought satisfaction. She moaned, disgruntled and his hand moved from behind her knee to the apex of her thighs and it drifted over the wet material, pressing in and Rey’s eyes were on him and he grinned.

‘Is this okay?’ he asked, not expecting her to say it wasn’t.

His hand reached over the waistband of her underwear, through the sparse hair there and then glided against her soaked centre. Rey hummed satisfactorily, and Ben’s fingers passed over her entrance, coating them in her slick before he delicately ran a single circle around her clit.

‘Tell me what you like, sweetheart.’ His lips were in her hair, millimetres from the shell of her ear.

‘Fill me,’ she croaked, and Ben did as she asked, his thick middle finger breaching her, and she sighed. ‘More.’ He added another and she jerked, wanting him to move, to set a pace. ‘Tease me,’ she requested, and Ben looked to her and she was looking at him directly. ‘Frustrate me.’

And he did as she said. His fingers slowly pumped into her, his wrist bumping lightly against her swollen nub and eliciting frequent echoes of a moan out of her. She moved to his rhythm, wanting more and when he added another finger, she almost curled in on herself and he had to manoeuvre so he was holding her down, splitting her wide. When he thought she had almost reached the precipice, he stopped abruptly, and his hand left her.

‘No no, wait.’ She groaned, Ben knowing that her end had been so close, though aware that now she had begun the slow retreat backwards.

A few more seconds passed, and Ben kneeled over her, his other hand taking its place, while the fingers still covered in her liquid warmth slipped against her breast. He squeezed her nipple between his fore and middle fingers and groaned as Rey’s eyes rolled back. He stopped abruptly, and she was so so close. Close enough that Ben could see her eyes begin to water, some tears spilling before he bent to lick the length of her chest, replacing her arousal with saliva, and he groaned at the taste.

‘Let me taste you,’ he begged. ‘Properly.’

And she barely nodded, still caught up in his fingers having fucked up into her, stretching her immensely. He moved down her body and Rey’s breath hitched as she watched him press his nose against her underwear. Her cheeks were burning red and the tears, though retreating, were very clearly ones of frustration.

Ben took a deep breath, inhaling her scent and he was unable to withhold the moan that echoed from him against her clothed centre. His hands moved to either side of her hips, pulling down her underwear quickly and discarding them over the side of the bed. He paused, his vision distracted by the delicate artwork of Rey’s anatomy. Hypnotised by her pink and throbbing slit, by the translucent slick that intoxicatingly coated her and had begun to drip down towards her ass. Ben lifted her bottom half off of the bed and his tongue took the same path as his fingers had, leaving her speechless as its soft wetness dipped lightly into her and then went to lick against her clit.

His mouth pressed further against her and Rey froze in his arms as he gently hollowed his mouth out, before sucking on her unreasonably. Rey fell over the edge crying out, her hands fisting the sheets beneath her. Ben didn’t leave her immediately, deciding to drink her in and unabashedly swallow her cum, his forehead rolling against her mons and a hand tightening against her thigh, hard enough to leave a bruise.

Ben’s breathing was heavy, realising that at some point he’d removed an arm from Rey and had slid his own hand into his boxers, gripping himself tightly, almost to the point of letting himself go. His erection was straining uncomfortably, weeping to be sated.

Rey’s breath stuttered as she looked down at him–his hand in his underwear as he breathed heavily against her inner thigh.

‘God, Rey, you’re perfect.’ He said against her, his breath tickling her pulsating centre—not quite yet down from her high. The light was still spinning over her, the rainbow in her pleasure-filled eyes splitting and circling her. ‘You taste so fucking good.’

‘Let me?’ she managed, taking a breath.

Ben looked up at her, his forehead rolling against her thigh as he met her gaze. Rey smiled seeing his glistening lips and she reached out to push his hair from his face, her fingers running through it. He leaned up more, his chin resting against her stomach and he kissed it softly. ‘Maybe later, I want to make good on my promise first.’

Rey laughed lightly, and Ben thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard, next to the sound of her climaxing. That had been confounding. ‘You never actually promised, Ben.’

‘Then I will now. I promise I will fuck you.’

‘You look so proud of yourself,’ Rey murmured, though her smile was wide, and she stretched her arms, absolutely happy.

Ben kneeled up, his hand escaping his boxers as he climbed up the bed and laid on his side next to Rey. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and she reached for the hand that he had been masturbating with, smiling at the precum that still coated the soft skin between his thumb and forefinger. He watched her as she brought it to her mouth, her tongue licking his hand clean before she brought it to her chest, smiling when his thumb rubbed softly against the soft skin on the underside of her breast.

‘Rey,’ he groaned, unable to say more as she smiled at him.

She kissed him, groaning against his lips as she tasted a mix of herself, the cherry pie and the hot cocoa against his tongue; and she grinned, pulling him closer against her to deepen the kiss. His erection bumped against her stomach and pelvis and she moved her hand down to palm him through his underwear.

He resisted briefly, before allowing her to continue, moaning openly into her mouth as her featherlight touch moved over him. Rey withdrew her hand and Ben’s eyes opened as Rey turned him, pushing his shoulder down onto the bed as she reached over him, straddling his waist, her wet centre soaking the line of hair beneath his navel.

‘Take them off,’ she murmured. Ben sat up, lifting Rey up as he arched slightly to pull his underwear over his ass and when he’d pulled it all the way down, Rey leant back slightly, feeling his considerable length at her backside.

She sighed, and a smile broke across her face as Ben's hands slid over her thighs and to her waist. ‘You're so beautiful, Ben,’ she said, leaning over him closely. Her fingers drifted over his skin, tracing lines between his moles. Ben watched her in silence, feeling his heart stutter in his chest as she looked at him.

Her smile was bright and happy, and it was him causing it, and Ben didn’t think life could get any better.

The curve of her mouth dropped against his neck then and she returned his earlier affections, leaving heated trails in her wake. He groaned as she sucked the skin at his clavicle. He could feel her dripping onto his stomach and Ben thought he could come just from this.

‘Even just this is enough. You're enough,’ he stuttered as Rey's lips left kisses against his sternum.

She placed a hot, open mouthed kiss against his left nipple and she chuckled as he whimpered again as her tongue flicked against it. Rey rubbed forward and Ben was made soundly aware of the fact that she was grinding on him purposefully, wanting further friction but keeping herself out of his reach.

‘Rey, please,’ he begged, his fingers pressing more tightly into her waist.

Rey looked back at him, leaning away from his chest to meet his eyes, their noses almost touching, and she smiled wide. ‘Just a little more, okay?’

Her lips met his again and Ben’s arms curled around her, holding her firmly against his chest and it felt like an eternity like this. Their tongues dancing together, perfect partners as Ben’s erection strained at her, his hips thrusting automatically, calling to be inside her. He was painfully desperate now, his cock throbbing at the mere idea of it, but being punished by the wait.

Their eyes held together once they had separated and Rey smiled lightly, her fingers reaching to push Ben’s hair from his face as her eyes scattered over his features.

‘Are you sure?’ she asked softly. Though the words suggested hesitation, Ben couldn’t read that in her eyes.

He reached out, pushing loose waves of hair behind her ear, replicating her expression. ‘I’ve never been surer of anything before.’

She stumbled out a laugh as she sat further up, moving slightly backward and allowing Ben to direct her as she lifted her weight from his stomach and hips. He palmed his erection and lined himself up with Rey. They exchanged one expectant look before Rey eased herself down, a whine leaving her throat without her permission, and a strangled huff leaving his.

Her eyes closed tightly, not used to feeling so stretched.

‘Is it okay?’ he asked quickly, getting ready to lean up and meet her directly, though Rey held her hand against his shoulder, shaking her head.

Her mouth lilted into a semi-dazed smile as her eyes opened. ‘It feels so good,’ she murmured.

‘Yeah?’ he responded, a grin forming.

‘Really good.’ Rey slid forward, her hips rolling as she pulled herself further over him. Ben raised his own hips to meet hers and she groaned, her fingers curling in the sheets on either side of their bodies.

His hands slid down from her waist to her hips as she arched over him, her hair draped over them like a curtain, while her nipples grazed his chest with every roll forward. Ben growled at the sensation and reached to her chest with one of his hands, rubbing her hardened dusky peak against his thumb, revelling in its stiffness.

Ben felt her clench over him, her bottom lip caught between her teeth and his grip on her waist tightened automatically and he groaned.

‘You’re so tight.’ He gasped out.

She huffed against his chest. ‘And you’re so big.’ Rey pulled back briefly, a moan dripping from her lips. ‘I feel you everywhere.’ Then she leaned towards Ben again, their lips meeting as she canted her hips to meet his. ‘So full of you,’ she panted. Her next groan seemed to echo from her mouth, passing through Ben’s. His eyes stuttered, wanting to squeeze them so tightly to cut off a sense so that he could feel this so much more, yet he was so unwilling to let his eyes leave Rey and miss her mewls of pleasure, or her expressions of exaltation that he was causing.

‘Ben, Ben, you’re so good,’ she managed, half on an exhale.

Rey almost swayed on her hands as she rode Ben and he reached to hold her more solidly, his hands eventually dropping to the curve of her ass. She sighed at his touch and his grip tightened, his short nails carving red marks into her tan skin as he sought to push deeper.

She cried out and seethed, her eyes narrowing as she looked down at him and Ben smirked, exceptionally elated. Ben felt her move, trying to angle herself differently and he caught her wish like a dancing ribbon in the wind. He sat up with her and turned them both, lying her onto her back without disconnecting them. Rey hummed in delight as her legs wrapped around the backs of his thighs and he thrusted much more forcefully, adding more depth and friction than her slow rotations and movements had allowed.

Rey gasped, feeling herself tighten around him again as he slipped further within her, and she winced.

‘Slower?’ He panted, not missing her expression.

She shook her head. ‘Don’t you fucking dare.’

Ben smirked as he continued his pace. ‘Is that better?’ he queried, already knowing the answer as Rey turned her head, biting roughly on her already battered lips. She choked out a high-pitched sigh, lifting her hips off the bed to join his and she hummed in approval.

Ben increased his speed then, putting more force into his thrusts, feeling Rey’s legs like vices on his, her nails tearing into the flesh of his sides and her eyes open and holding his. He almost stopped at the expression, thinking she was about to cry, worried that he might be pushing her too far, but a hand left his waist and she lifted it to stroke the pad of her thumb softly against his cheek.

‘Ben,’ she murmured, whispering as if she wanted to tell him a secret only he must hear. Like his name itself was the secret. ‘You make me feel so good.’ Her teeth bit into her lip once more, leaving a red crescent against it. ‘You’re so good,’ she continued.

Her hand shifted to his neck and she pulled him closer to her, so their noses were almost touching, and she smiled, rolling her hips underneath him. Their kiss was light this time, lips, noses and teeth bumping due to the shuddering of both of their bodies, yet delicate enough that Ben imagined Rey holding him within her hands, handling him as if he was a fragile flower she must protect.

His rhythm grew irregular at the mere thought of it, and he so desperately wanted to be taken care of by her that Rey’s eyes widened as she looked into his, and Ben knew his emotions were breaching his eyes, and that the tenderness reflected in her hazel eyes were for him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him tightly to her, her breath in his ear as he pushed into her.

‘You’re perfect,’ she murmured softly. ‘I’ve never met anyone like you before, I don’t think I ever will again,’ she said, repeating his words back to him and Ben groaned, feeling himself begin to unravel, his heart and head light at her words.

‘Rey, I…’ he could barely construct a sentence and he kissed her shoulder softly, wanting to stay like this for eternity. He didn’t think it would be like this. He wanted to worship her, he wanted to lay every piece of his soul down before her and only have her—to only be anointed by her touch.

Ben lifted them slightly, lifting his knees and arching Rey’s back to alter her position and she let out another sharp cry at the change in angle. He reached haphazardly for one of her pillows and pulled it to support her lower back and she reached for him again as he pumped into her. Rey’s fingers clawed at his ass, finding no give in the tight muscles bunched up there. She almost managed a chuckle, though it quickly turned into a muffled cry against Ben’s shoulder.

‘I’m close, so close, Ben. Don’t stop, please.’ She begged, and Ben knew that if there was one last thing he could do on this earth, it was this.

He choked into her shoulder as he pushed himself to his limit, trying to keep his own screaming body at bay as it begged to be set free. His movements were erratic, and a haphazard thrust seemed to hit Rey at exactly the right spot and she peaked, crying out and shuddering around him, leaving Ben to spasm in her wake; milked by her pulsating walls as she orgasmed, and he spilled inside of her, offering his own shaking breath and groan.

Rey looked up, elated as he filled her and holding fast onto him, her legs tightening as she felt his spend warm her. And Ben, feeling himself coming apart, imagined that it could be like this forever if he wanted. If he wanted her and she wanted him.

‘You’re so perfect,’ he said, anointing her with kisses. His lips moved across her throat, forehead and lips, not leaving her body and Rey made no moves to have his weight off her or to remove his softening cock from inside of her. Even his waning erection seemed to fill her, and Ben wanted to remain cocooned inside of her, warm and whole.

‘You’re an angel,’ she murmured. ‘You’re my angel.’

Ben closed his eyes, not believing that they could be like this, even after days of them knowing each other. He was hyper aware that she knew him, and he knew it wasn’t right, but she knew him better than anyone else after such a short amount of time. His throat was tight as he looked at her, unable to respond to her confounding words, and despite the high of his climax, he still felt as if he was walking on clouds.

The word was on the tip of his tongue and it didn’t make any sense, but he didn’t know what else this could be, what else it could be called.

Rey curled around him, not letting him go, perhaps wanting him to harden within her again so that this night wouldn’t have to end, and it frightened Ben. It frightened him that they could feel the same thing; that they could want the same thing.

‘Rey,’ he mumbled, easing his weight off her as he turned onto his side, their legs entwined as they remained connected. She looked to him and a hand pushed her loose waves from her damp forehead and behind her ear.

She smiled and pressed forward, kissing him quickly and then licking her own lips to taste him again.

He started again, swallowing down his nerves and the distraction of her tight core around his half-flaccid penis. ‘Rey, I don’t know what to do,’ he said honestly. ‘I can’t…I don’t think I can enunciate properly what you make me feel.’

Rey’s hands held his face gently and she kissed him, slowly, languidly almost, her tongue meeting his easily and flicking against it softly. It was sweet and so full of care that Ben was fraught because he hadn’t experienced this. He didn’t know what this was.

‘I feel it, Ben. I feel it too.’ She murmured to him.

He closed his eyes, wanting to bask in her, and then she finally separated from him, pulling him out of her with a slick pop. She looked down at him, at the mess they’d made together, his cock glistening in their own spend, and his cum freely flowing from her.

‘God,’ she groaned. ‘We should have used a towel.’

Ben’s chortles followed, and she beamed at him as he knocked his head back, laughing outwardly, Rey looking over him in surprise at the enthusiastic reception. ‘Did you like that, that much?’ she questioned. ‘You’ll have to sleep in the wet spot, then.’

He shook his head, his forehead pressing against hers. ‘I don’t want to sleep.’

Rey chuckled softly, pressing several kisses against his lips and then to his cheeks, nose and jaw. ‘I don’t know…You have worked me really hard today,’ she mentioned.

‘As Santa, I had a lot of expectations.’

‘Yeah and I had to keep Santa in line.’

Ben scoffed. ‘By flirting with Santa relentlessly?’ he questioned.

‘You slander me, sir,’ she said, mock-outraged.

He grinned, and his arms tightened around Rey, pulling her into the wet spot. She pushed at him, groaning. Eventually after several attempts she managed to squirm out of his arms and she slid off the bed, scuttling out of the door and leaving Ben behind. When she came back, she was wearing soft lounge wear –a t-shirt and shorts– and her hair was tied in a band at the top of her head. Rey flicked off the lights and turned on her bedside light.

‘I’d offer you something, but I don’t think it would fit you,’ she commented, sliding back into bed next to Ben. He had moved over to one side, abandoning the wet spot behind him.

‘I sleep naked anyway,’ he answered, and Rey looked appalled.

‘Of course you do.’

He chuckled as he pulled her back to his chest and pulled the quilt around them.

‘Rey?’

‘Hmm?’

‘You’re so warm,’ he whispered against her shoulder, his arms squeezing her tightly against him.

She laughed softly, and she turned in his arms, hers lifting to wrap around his neck. ‘I really like your mum.’ Ben looked as if he didn’t believe her, and Rey’s light laughter continued at his expression. ‘I’m really liking this idea of spending Christmas with her.’

‘I wasn’t the main attraction?’ he asked.

‘I also want to meet your uncle,’ she added, ignoring his question.

Ben groaned, rolling his eyes. ‘I’m having the distinct impression that you intend to completely disrupt my life, in every way possible.’

Rey nodded, grinning wide. ‘Absolutely. I will be your reckoning Benjamin Solo.’

They were both silent for a moment, Rey’s gaze unsure of where to stay, whether it be on his own light brown irises, his full lips, or the moles that splashed across his skin. Ben could feel her heart beating against his chest and he knew it was mirroring his, fighting to be faster, to make him light headed.

He sighed loudly, eliciting a giggle out of Rey, but his eyes were easily read, and it was clear he acquiesced. ‘Okay,’ he murmured. ‘Okay.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this story!!!! I hope you enjoyed it (especially you Jen....). 
> 
> If you like, you can leave a comment and kudos are always welcome ;)  
> You can also catch me on twitter @Saidah08 if you fancy a chat.   
> Love you, bye.


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